Have you ever had the feeling of not being enough? Even though you’ve achieved success in various aspects of life, limiting beliefs have still crept in? In this episode, we discuss how to relieve imposter syndrome and own your power with Spencer Snakard.
Spencer is an Executive Transformation Coach, Trainer, and Speaker. She helps people break through their limiting beliefs and live a life that is aligned with their purpose.
Bringing your awareness to the symptoms of imposter syndrome will help you to start owning your power, and will help you more easily move toward your best life.
Breaking through limiting beliefs and having a positive mindset sets you on the right path. If this is something that you and your business need, tune in to this episode.
IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL DISCOVER:
- What does ‘owning your power’ mean? (02:37)
- How to acknowledge your full potential and avoid limiting beliefs (08:18)
- Why do we feel like imposters? (13:03)
- How to manage imposter syndrome (17:28)
- What is identity reflex and how does it affect business behaviour? (22:19)
- Why business and mindset coaching are interdependent and not separate (28:05)
- Bringing awareness and moving through Imposter Syndrome (33:50)
Register for Spencer’s Free Masterclass, Transforming Millions™ here.
- “Owning your power is about embracing all of your innate awesomeness.” -Spencer Snakard
- “We need to embrace that we’re all imposters on some level, all pretending to be something that we’re not, or believing that we’re not something that we are.” – Spencer Snakard
- “Until we fully embrace who we are, it’s very difficult to go forward and put strategies in place.” -Samantha Riley
- “The more we know, the more we realize we don’t know.” -Samantha Riley
- “We’re not human beings having a spiritual experience; we’re spiritual beings having a human experience.” -Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
WHERE TO FIND SPENCER SNAKARD
- Website: https://spencersnakard.com/
- Instagram: Spencer Snakard
- Facebook: Spencer Snakard
- LinkedIn: Spencer Snakard
- YouTube: Spencer Snakard
This episode is sponsored by Your Podcast Concierge. Affordable podcast production for coaches and speakers who want to increase their authority and generate leads from their show. You press record, and let them do the rest.
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ABOUT GARY SCHULLER
Spencer Snakard is an Executive Coach who helps entrepreneurial women leaders create world-changing impact … without life-sucking consequences! Helping clients get out of their own way, she takes them from self-limiting beliefs that put a ceiling on their revenue, impact & fulfillment, to multiple seven-figure years with a business & life of their design.
Adam Schaeuble: Hey, they’re Influence By Design podcast fans. It’s your buddy Adam from Podcasting Business School. That’s the podcast where I teach people about podcast launch growth and monetization strategies, check out Episode 220, where I help you discover where you’re at in the podcasting success timeline. You’re listening to the Influence By Design podcast, and it’s time to bring out your host, my pod pal, Samantha Riley.
Spencer Snakard: If we approach it as a practice to continuously be identifying and recognizing like, Oh, that’s my identity popping up. That’s that human side. That’s my fear. My feeling of not enough and it’s okay, let me ground back into who I really am. Let me get realigned with who I really am. And just to continuously be working that cycle is always bringing it back and trying to root back into your truth, maybe not the truth with a capital T but your truth.
Samantha Riley: My name is Samantha Riley, and this is the podcast for coaches, course creators, and experts who want to grow their influence, income, and impact to take their coaching business to a million dollars and beyond. We’re going to share the latest business growth, marketing, and leadership strategies, as well as discussing how you can use your human design to create success in business and life. Inside and out. Create the influence, income, and impact you need to build your business so you can create your ideal lifestyle, it’s time to make a difference and scale-up. This is the Influence By Design podcast.
Samantha: Welcome to today’s episode of Influence By Design. I’m your host Samantha Riley and today we’re going to talk about a topic that is near and dear to my heart because I see this affecting so many people in my world, we’re going to talk about owning or no, we’re not going to talk about owning imposter syndrome.
We’re going to talk about relieving impostor syndrome and owning your power. And I’ve invited Spencer Snarkard to the show today, who’s an executive coach, she helps entrepreneurial women leaders create world-changing impact without life-sucking consequences. And who doesn’t want that, right? Helping clients get out of their own way. She takes them from self-limiting beliefs that put a ceiling on their revenue, impact, and fulfillment to multiple seven-figure years with a business and life by design. It’s talking about all of the things that I love to talk about. Spencer, welcome to the show.
Spencer: Thank you. So happy to be here with you today.
Samantha: Impostor syndrome. This is a huge topic. I’m wondering how we’re going to knock this over in one episode. But I know that we’re both amazing women. And we can do this.
Spencer: Yes, we can.
Samantha: What I want to do is actually reverse engineer this, you talk about owning your power. So let’s sort of start at the end and work backwards. In your words, what is someone owning their power? What does that look like? What does that feel like?
Spencer: Yeah, to me, owning your power is really embracing all of your innate awesomeness, just to put it simply, and I love that you said, Let’s start at the end and work backwards. Because actually, in my framework, I tend to lead with some of where this ties in with owning your power. I really think a quote that guides me through much of my life, and certainly, through how I’ve really come to understand the work that I do and approach it is that quote about we’re not human beings having a spiritual experience, we’re spiritual beings having a human experience.
And so my framework has really boiled down to like this, recognizing this inherent, really, I believe, conflict in many ways between who we are as spiritual beings and who we are as human beings. And so I often start with the spiritual side, like who are you really on a soul level? Who are you? What are you here for? What really matters most to you. And within that, there’s, I don’t necessarily want to go down a whole like spiritual path necessarily, unless you want to go there we could.
And for me, it’s not really about religion or doctrine at all. It’s more just like the beingness of who we are that expands beyond these human bodies that were housed and so anyway, I believe, you know, whatever you want to think of it God universe, spirit, Source Energy, doesn’t make mistakes.
And so I really start on the spiritual side of when we embrace the perfection really, of all that we are and all that we’re not exactly as we are and exactly as we’re not. That really, to me is the foundation of power. Because I think so many of our struggles come from them, the conflict in our humanity, being housed in these breakable bootable bodies with an expiration date on them, that we have this innate need to survive.
We’re wired for survival. And with that comes fear and feeling like we’re not enough and we’re less than and, you know, we could have a whole deep spiritual conversation because a lot I had an epiphany a few years ago going, oh my gosh, I think part of why we feel like we’re not enough and we’re disconnected and don’t belong is because spiritually we can’t and are cut off and less than our fully divine spiritual selves.
So we have this like physical reminder in our human experience of our limitations, even though our spiritual awareness is of this limitless, I believe, I don’t know that that’s the truth with a capital T. But that’s what I like to think of as it. Think of it as
Samantha: I love so much. And it’s so interesting, because you know, exactly like you said, I’ve gone to the end and said, you know, what is that power like? And the reason I framed it that way is because, you know, if we’re talking about courage, or courageousness, you have to feel courageous and lean into it. To lean on your power, before you necessarily feel courageous.
However, on the flip side of that, exactly what you just said, then is why I bring human design into my work so much, because it’s, you know, who are you? What’s your authentic, you know, and I’m not a fan of the word authentic? What’s your, you know, what’s your energetic blueprint? What are you here to do?
And even just yesterday on a coaching call with my clients? You know, we talk a lot of strategies, because like you, you know, it’s about, okay, well, what are the steps? What has to happen? Next? What, how do we do this, but at the same time, understanding that we’re holistic beings, and that were the drivers of our business, and, you know, we did a session on purpose, and specifically, you know, leaning into it our incarnation Cross, which is our purpose within Human Design, and why we’re on the planet.
Because until we can lean into that and fully embrace who we are, and have that feeling of, yes, that’s who I am. It is very difficult to go forward and put the strategies in place.
Spencer: Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. So yeah, I really like to help people ground into that that’s, that’s often where I start with people is like, what do you really want? And who are you? Or who do you want to be? Who do you aspire to be in the world? And what’s the purpose and the mission and the drive that you want to fulfill?
And a lot of you know, some, it’s funny, because one of my coaches a couple years ago was I was coming up with this framework at the time. She’s like, Yeah, but don’t you think your people already know that? I mean, they all have like purpose statements and mission statements? And I’m like, Yeah, but are they living it? That’s the big question. Like, just because you’ve written something out on paper, doesn’t mean really, that you’re embodying it, and that you’re living in alignment with it.
So I like to start with tuning into that, who are you really, what are you here for? What is your purpose on this earth? And what do you really want out of this life experience you’re having so that you can design the business, even if you’re already hugely successful in business, because a lot of times people come to me when they’re in a redesign phase, to be able to design the business to fit into the life you want not try to squeeze your life around the business you want, oh, my God.
And then once we’ve worked all that out, it starts to make really clear where are these other aspects of our humanity tend to get in the way of it, the fear, the doubt, the feelings of not enough the feelings of needing to protect and guards ourselves, imposter syndrome, all that stuff.
Then we really bring it back full circle with being able to kind of take the armor off and really mash the, the human and the spiritual. So you’re bringing your full self-expression with a capital S, and your whole human experience?
Samantha: Oh, my goodness, you are really speaking my language. When you’re working with people to really get clear on what it is they really want, yeah, how often do you come across the situation or the scenario? Where people are like, yep, that’s what I want. And then their beliefs and their conditioning? When they get going start to pull them back into their own world of like, yeah, that’s what I really want. But I can’t really have that, or, yeah, that’s what I really want. Let’s get going. And before I know it, I’m back working 70-hour weeks, because my belief system says, I’ve got to work hard.
Spencer: Yeah, yes. All the time is the answer.
Samantha: All right. So how do we get around? Oh, I mean, having a human experience, right?
Spencer: Yes, yes, exactly. Yeah, all the time. I mean, every client I think of that I’ve ever worked with whether, on a short-term or a long-term basis, there’s some version of that going on. Just an example. Right now I’m working with a client who, when she’s very, very driven, she had a horrific childhood that she worked incredibly hard to pull herself up and out of to leave that very terrible experience, which I won’t reveal her details of, but just it was bad. And she worked hard to get out.
She graduated at age 16. as valedictorian of her class, which here in the US is typically like at least a year or two early. And then she put herself through college. She had her first business started in her early to mid-20s. In fact, I think by its mid-20s, it was a seven-figure, full-service ad agency with employees and everything. She’s got a great husband, a great family, everything. She came to me because she had had a health crisis that she believes in many ways was brought on by working so hard all the time going and going and not taking care of herself.
And so when she came to me and was starting this new business, she said, you know, yes, I want success, I’d love to be making two $3 million years minimum. And she’s primarily a solopreneur. That’s like for her really, that she’s looking at that target. And yet, she also said in that first session, she’s like, you know, what I really want, even more than anything, though, is if I never achieve another thing, again, if I don’t check off another achievement off my list, I want to know that I’m worthy and deserving of love, just because I exist just because of the skin that I’m in.
It’s been a continuous process, you know, she’s made huge strides, there were things when we first started working together that she would say, you know, I’m not the kind of person who, and now she’s really embodied being that kind of person that she wanted to be. But there are also things where, again, it comes up where we’ll see that she’ll start kind of gravitating back toward but I have to work hard, I have to prove myself I have to go way above and beyond for my clients. And you know, she’s developing the awareness and the practice to kind of recognize when that’s happening, and be able to rein yourself back in and be like, wait a minute, that is not aligned with what I wanted. I want to be traveling the national parks in an RV with my family in the summer, I don’t want to be working 60-hour weeks.
So it’s a constant process of bringing yourself back. But a lot of that, you know, we started off with mentioning impostor syndrome, to some degree that plays in there as well, because it is like, if I’m not being who I’ve always been, and doing, as I’ve always done and achieving those great levels, you know, like, What will people think of me? Or am I really who I thought I was, or, you know, those kinds of things.
We even just recently had a conversation where she said, You know, sometimes I feel like, I’m still just That poor kid, you know, growing up in a small poor town, without two pennies to rub together and the bad situation that was going on there of like, sometimes I feel like that’s who I really am. And this is all pretending. And I feel like with the clients I’ve worked with, I’ve worked with such successful, just unbelievably successful, high achieving people. And I almost feel like the more successful and the higher achieving they are, the more afraid they are of their past being more their truth than their present, which I find fascinating.
Samantha: I’m just feeling this so deeply from the people that I work with. And you and I were having a conversation before we press the record. And I was saying what is incredible to me, and not incredible, in a great way, you know, in a frustrating way that I just wish I could fix this for people is that the people that I see coming to me that have impostor syndrome, are those who have got an extensive amount of experience. They’ve been in their corporate position for 20 30 40 years. Yeah. And they’ve been highly successful. They’ve been running their business. And you know, it’s been successful monitoring millions, you know, multimillion-dollar businesses. And I find that they’re the ones that often say, but I don’t know enough. I’m not good enough. Why do we see this happening? So much?
Spencer: I’m going to go out on the limb and say something that might be a little earth-shattering. Or maybe I’m fooling myself and someone will be like, That’s not that big of a deal. Spencer, I think we feel like imposters, because ultimately we are.
I don’t really mean like that we really are pretending or we really don’t know, that is not at all what I mean. So I really want to clarify that. What I mean is, I think who we really are, again, on a soul level that we come out of the womb as but we quickly start to forget and lose sight of who we really are gets covered up by this identity that we take on to try to make up for what we think we lack.
So as kids, we start to notice what gets praise and recognition and reward and what doesn’t. And we start to take on this sense of self of either being like the cute one or the funny one or the super-smart one, the high achieving one, the class clown, the caring, supportive one, whatever it might be. So we take on this identity, but it’s not really who we are. It’s what we’re doing and maybe who we’re being, because we think we’re not enough.
And even that in itself, thinking we’re not enough, isn’t really who we are either. So I really, I think that, to some degree, I feel like we almost just need to embrace that we’re all imposters we really are on some level, all pretending to be something that we’re not, or believing that we’re not something that we are.
Maybe that’s another way to put it about like owning your power like we are innate divine, just magnificent universal power. And yet we think sometimes we’re broken and damaged and small and insignificant and not enough. So to some degree we are imposters and so I think if we can start to recognize and embrace that, but always be looking at it, like a practice I was a yoga instructor for 15 years and Eastern philosophy yogic philosophy is very much about the practice, like with meditation, too, it’s not like, you know, you reach some level and you’ve achieved it. Okay, brush your hands off, and you’re done, like Mission accomplished.
It’s an ongoing practice of mastery. And so I feel like if we approach it as a practice to continuously be identifying and recognizing, like, Oh, that’s my identity popping up. That’s that human side. That’s my fear. And my feeling of not enough, and it’s okay, let me ground back into who I really am. Let me get realigned with who I really am.
And just to continuously be working that cycle, are always bringing it back and trying to route back into your truth, maybe not the truth with a capital T but your truth.
Samantha: I love that so much. And what dropped in for me, and I’ve never had this thought before, and I love having these nerdy conversations with so is that as we get older, and we understand that there’s so much more that we don’t know, because that’s essentially what’s happening. The more we know, the more we realize. We don’t know. And I think as, as thought leaders, as visionary entrepreneurs, we’re constantly evolving day after day.
So the person that we are today is not the person that we were yesterday. So there’s probably this constant. Oh, who, like, you know, I’ve just had these new thoughts and who I am, how am I today? Because I’ve got these new things. So because there’s this constant evolution. Yeah, I’m guessing that’s why this imposter syndrome actually increases rather than decreases, which actually, you know, logically doesn’t make sense. But that’s essentially what happens. Right? Right. Right. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.
Let’s talk about why we feel like we can’t get over it. Why is it that no matter where we’re at, in our journey, and I’ve heard stories of like, huge names, even, you know, Richard Branson, even talks about it. And you know, as entrepreneurs, most of us would be like, Wow, we want to be like, we want to be like Richard Branson. Not even though he’s mentioned, he still has these moments of imposter syndrome.
Yeah. So how can we, I guess, embrace it and still move forward? If people at his level have still got imposter syndrome? It’s obviously got to be something that we need to manage? We’re not necessarily going to get rid of it.
Spencer: Right, right. Yeah. So I think what comes to mind as you bring that up, is that I think of it almost like creating a new relationship, even perhaps we say a friendship, to some degree with fear. And really how I envision this for myself when I come up against things, imposter syndrome, and feeling not enough. And, again, so much of this is driven by our early years of development, when we felt that there was some threat to our survival.
I mean, if you think back to we’re not that far off from our caveman days, and the timeline of human existence, modern conveniences of having a roof over our head and power and, you know, heating and cooling and food at our back and video anytime we need.
All of that is pretty recent. So we’re still very much wired from our caveman days when belonging was essential. And we had to belong, we had to stay part of that family group. Because if we got kicked out of the cave, so to speak, it was pretty much certain death. Exactly. So yeah, so it’s really very natural that we have these survival instincts.
And I think that in itself, I always love anytime I do a live workshop or something, I’ll ask, you know, what’s Let me ask, what’s your number one goal in life, and people will say things like to fulfill my potential to live my purpose to be self-actualized. And I’m like, five, like, Can we start with that one?
Because really, that’s the first one, we really forget about that. And I think if you look at something like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, wasn’t one of the psychological theories. I really think everything except self-actualization has to do with our human survival. And it’s not just physical, and safety, and security. It’s also things like belonging, and I’m completely forgetting the identifier for the fourth level, but it has to do with like position or prestige or accomplishment, things like that.
So if there’s any threat to any of that, I think our identity kind of kicks in. It’s like we’re not being chased by saber-toothed Tigers anymore for our physical risk, essentially, to our existence. So I think our identity kind of took over like Okay, girl, don’t worry, I got this, I got you covered.
And so the identity kicks in. And so I think, you know, what, I guess what, I’m sorry, I kind of started going down a rabbit hole there. And what I wanted to tie back to was the way I tried to think of this as almost like parenting my younger self like now as an adult who is older and wiser and knows that she has her needs met and that I’m not being threatened in these ways. When that comes up, it’s almost like okay, let me go love on my, my younger inner self, which really is where the identity is stepping in to try to protect that version, and just having that new relationship with it.
And sometimes people make reference to things like, you know, fear is in the driver’s seat. You know, fear is in the driver’s seat fears driving the car, like you need to get fear out of the driver’s seat, and you get back in the driver’s seat. And it struck me one day, I’m like, Yeah, but it’s not just that it’s not just getting fear out of the driver’s seat. It’s like lovingly moving fear into the five-point child safety harness.
So that it can’t like crawl back up on your lap and blind you and like, you know, get in the way. And, like, let it know, not only that, it’s restrained, but that it’s safe. Because when it knows that it’s safe, it doesn’t feel the need to protect him the need to kick in. So just starting to recognize there’s a whole process I go through with people to even start to identify, well, what is that identity? How can you know when that’s going off? Because there’s always signals, there’s always like warning flares or flags that will go up that you can go, oh, wait a minute, that’s my identity kicking in again.
And so when you know, the identity is kicking in, you know, you’re in some sort of a fear state. And so instead of getting upset with yourself about it, or thinking, Oh, this again, I remember even think self at one point a couple years ago, like, didn’t my handle this already.
Like I’ve been through this before, I thought I’d handled this, this thing again. But it’s like every time you expand into new territory, there are new threats, and therefore there are new things that will those same old survival mechanisms. Yeah. So just being able to start to recognize like, oh, okay, wait, I’m going into fear state. All right. Let’s just take a minute, take a breath. Think about like, what do I really want here? Where do I really want to go with this? Who do I want to be in this situation? To be able to interact in a new way with it?
Samantha: Yeah. I love that the idea of putting the fear in the harness in the backseat? That visual for me is just like, yeah, I really liked that. So that’s when we can, we can do that when we notice that fears getting in the way are holding us out. Yeah, but what about the, you know, those negativities that are running that we’re not even aware of? Yeah, because I find that this is even bigger than being aware of some of the things that are happening.
Spencer: Oh, absolutely.
Samantha: That like banging, exactly what I said banging my head against the wall, like what’s going on here? Again?
Spencer: Yes. And that’s that identity reflex. It’s funny, I just came up with this analogy a couple months ago, when I was developing a new workshop. I was like, it’s a reflex. It’s like, if you go into the doctor’s office, and they tap your knee and your leg kicks out. It’s like, I mean, using that kind of continuing to like banging your head against the wall.
It’s like you’re continuously kicking your toe into the wall. And you’re like, I don’t know what’s going on. But my toe is killing me. What the heck is going on here? Yeah. And it’s because that reflex is happening. So yeah, so there are a couple of things. I mean, there’s a whole process that I worked through with people that that helps them identify, like, if you’re not getting, if there’s somewhere you want to be like some accomplishment you want to have or an experience, because I know you and I both talked very much. It’s not just about the success and the rockin revenue, it’s also about enjoying life along the way and designing the life and the business the way you want it.
So it’s not even just about numbers. It’s also about the experience and the process. So if there’s something that you’re wanting that you’re not quite getting to or you’re struggling with, and you’re like, why is it not happening? It’s not happening, it’s not happening, maybe with the speed, or the scale, maybe it’s happening, but it’s not happening as big as you want. Or maybe it’s happening, but it’s not happening as easily as you want. So that that in itself is something even just to look at, like if there’s something you’ve been wanting, and it hasn’t been happening, that’s a good thing to kind of put your attention on them to be like, Oh, wait, maybe there’s something going on here. And then we go through a process where I help people then identify,
Okay, what is it that’s in the way, there’s always a benefit, or a payoff that’s keeping people who are saying, if there’s no benefit, I’m miserable. What can I possibly be getting out of this? But there’s always a benefit, whether it has to do with something like having a sense of control over the situation, or avoiding some it’s all survival-based. Again, it’s protecting you from something. And so an example I can give of this, a client, when she first came to me, she had just started hitting $10,000 months. And client when she first came to me, it just started hitting $10,000 a month, she’d been in business for eight years. And she’s like, you know, I’m certainly doing better now than ever before, but I’d like to be doing even better. But she said, but I’m not one of those people who wants to make a million dollars. And I was like, Huh, that’s interesting.
So I said, Look, I’m not saying you should want to make a million dollars a year, but I’m super curious why you specifically don’t want to make a million dollars a year. Can we talk about that? And so as we dug into it, it became very apparent in that first conversation that she had this belief one that more money equals more problems, and she didn’t want more problems. So she was protecting herself from getting problems by not allowing for more money.
And the thing was to she really was going through all the motions she was doing the right things like, you know, she was working with a great coach, she was doing everything the coach was saying she’d developed this great webinar that was happening. But there were still things that just weren’t quite clicking for her. And so it also became very apparent in that first conversation that she had this belief that if her business got super successful and made a lot of great money, it was almost like, like one of those chill playground things like a seesaw or teeter-totter, I can have this or that, right.
If one gets too good, her personal life and relationships were going to be terrible. Or if her personal life and relationships got really good, she wouldn’t be able to have a business or any independence and financial freedom and be able to do the things she wanted to do. And so am I pointed that out? I said, you know, it kind of seems to me like you have this either or, like, either you can have a business or you can have a relationship. And she was like, Well, yeah.
And she wasn’t really conscious to it when she came to me. But when I pointed out she’s like, Well, yeah. And she said, You know, when I think about it, every Happy Family I’ve ever known, like, really happy couple, she said, first off, I only can think of two families that were really happily married and everything was good. And they were both completely stone-cold, broke, and couldn’t do anything fun. Like the friends could never go places with me or do things because they didn’t have the money for it. And she said, and then I think of people like my parents, and pretty much every other family I knew were the parents were successful, but they were divorced, sometimes divorced multiple times over or just in really unhappy, miserable marriages. And she’s like, Yeah, that’s all I’ve ever seen.
And so we started to really kind of unravel this of like, is that really true? Is that truth with a capital T? Or is that your view of the world? And she started to recognize, like, Wow, maybe it’s not truth. By the second session, she came in, and she said, You know, I was on a plane last weekend, and I noticed all these really happy couples in first class. And I thought they must have money if they’re in first class. I’ve never even seen that before.
So the view started to open and there was obviously work she had to do to start to take risks, she started investing more in her business so that it could make more money. She was investing in ads and expanding the application of her webinar, she entered into a new relationship and was more herself than she’d ever been, she said, You know, I don’t think I’ve ever really let anyone see me, and started taking those risks to really be seen. And she ended up in the span of 18 months, she went from $10,000 months to $100,000 months, 10 times her revenue, just from identifying and shifting this thing around, like, you know, she wanted more money and couldn’t figure out why she wasn’t getting there. But it became really clear early on like, well, you’re not getting there, because you’re protecting yourself from all the bad things you think are going to happen as a result of it. But they were all subconscious, just like you said, so many times they’re under the surface.
Samantha: And that metaphor that you first used in that you’re you know, you’re banging your foot into the wall when someone Yes, and you can see why is my toes sore that. Yeah, you could focus on why is my toe sore? Or it’s like, well, actually, why is my toe hitting the wall in the first place? Right here? Are we focused? Right?
Spencer: Right. But a lot of times we don’t even realize it’s hitting the wall. We just know it hurts. It’s all in unraveling. That happens. Yes. Yeah, lately.
Samantha: So let’s talk about coaching. So that’s what you were talking about just then. And yes. And I know that the people that listen to this show really value coaching, you know, we all have coaches, we all understand the importance of them. But let’s talk about the difference between a business coach and a mindset coach, because I think that, you know, a lot of people will be like, why this isn’t happening. So I need to go and get the strategy. I need to go and work I need to go and get the check box. Yeah. And then there’s still like, whoa, what’s going on here?. What do you see as the balance? And obviously, this isn’t quantifiable as such. But I’d love your idea around the balance of the mindset versus the strategy and how they play together.
Spencer: Yes, yeah. You know, I think the two are so integral, both I mean, I’m not. I’ve heard some mindset coaches say, oh, it’s all mindset. Everything is mindset. And if it’s not working, it’s just your mindset. I don’t believe that I believe there is a lot of value and need for proper business strategy and finding what’s effective, and what’s effective in your market. And for you, as well.
Because, you know, again, there may be methods that work, but they’re not going to align with what you want for your life and for your business. So I think business coaching is absolutely essential. I love actually working with business coaches, brand coaches, sales, marketing coaches, to serve their people, meaning, you know, that I think the two of us together is where the magic really happens. Because people do need both sides of it. And honestly, my belief is we need mindset all along the way. And some people you know, some people early on maybe have like, the enthusiasm and the passion and sort of the ignorant confidence.
And I only got ignorant of like, they don’t know what they don’t know. Yeah, I don’t mean they’re stupid. I just mean they don’t know what they don’t know yet. And so they’re like, I’m gonna go do this.
And that gets them a pretty long way, to begin with. But most people in my experience will eventually hit some sort of wall, as you said, like hitting your head against the wall, where they’ll plateau, or something just kind of won’t be clicking in the same way that it was anymore. And so that’s very much why, you know, when I first started coaching, I was working with people new to the business. And I realized I was like, these aren’t my people, because one, they don’t even see the need yet. For mindset, they think it’s all about I need to pick up my font colors, pick my fonts, and my brand colors picked out.
Samantha: I need a logo.
Spencer: Exactly, exactly. But also to it’s just like, I think, you know, I really got excited about the idea of I want to work with people that are high achieving, that are doing great things already. And I want to help them like exponentially blow it up, not necessarily the struggle through the early steps, but like really amplify and ease the further steps. So but I really believe mindset is so critical, because you know, this client I mentioned that ended up more than 10 axing her results, she’d had loads of coaching from various business sides, things on how to build a webinar, how to do Facebook ads, marketing in general, you know, newsletter writing, like all the business things she had learning and and she was very smart, very, very bright, very likable woman, I mean, just so magnetic and warm, and just who she is makes you like want to be around her and work with her and do you know, all of it.
But because of that piece where she unbeknownst to herself, was putting that limit on herself. It’s like, you know, all the strategy in the world wouldn’t have made the difference because she somewhat subconsciously but also intentionally was limiting how far she wanted to go.
Samantha: Absolutely. I feel like business coaching and mindset coaching is almost like an infinity symbol, you know, like the sideways? They go together and it’s like this constant. Okay, so here’s the strategy, like, what’s going on in the background? Yes. What I talked about the background is, you know, what tape? Are we running? Yes. That’s subconscious that we don’t even know. And that it’s always the infinity symbol that just because as you say, as we get up to the next level, the same tape we’re running, it might be coming out in different ways. \ But it’s the same tape and it’s just running. I think that they’ve got this beautiful symbiotic relationship. And I also don’t believe that it ever ends. Yes. You talked about onion before. It’s just like, it just keeps going and going. And going. Yeah. And beauty in that.
Spencer: Yeah, absolutely. And honestly, that kind of connects back to you know, I mentioned Maslow’s hierarchy that’s like that self-actualization level as like, you’re always looking at like, Okay, what’s next? And what’s more, and what’s the next level of expression of this? And you know, where it’s always like this just kind of growing blossoming thing. So yeah, I love how you said the infinity symbol. And I wanted to really kind of underscore to I love that you’ve brought up so many times about the subconscious, because I think so many people, especially when it comes to mindset, think, oh, just do affirmations and think positive thoughts, and do some visualization of things happening that you want to have happening.
I think those are all great tools. I really, sometimes I think, voice when I do that, and people think I might be making fun of it, I use those tools too. But I feel like that’s barely scratching the surface, if you’re not doing the deeper work to uncover the subconscious stuff that you’re not even aware of, which I really believe is like 95 plus percent of what’s going on, then it all those other things, you know, they can have some effect people do talk about how it does have some, you know, changing of the synapses and stuff. But I think it’s so much more powerful. To get to the deeper subconscious work, instead of just staying on the upper. I’m just going to try to be super happy and positive and think good thoughts.
Samantha: All right. So let’s tie this back. So someone’s listening to this going yet. I know that there’s you know, impostor syndrome popping up every now and again, I know my toes hurting. What is sort of like the very first step they can take? Because most of us, you know, we’re at a point in our life where we’re actually aware that this is going on, it’s not like we’re not aware. So we’ve got that awareness stage. What is sort of something that we can do from a practical level to be able to move through that in a day-to-day basis?
Spencer: Well, one, I want to say, come work with me, I’ll help you. I’m just not gonna lie. I got to put that one out there. But no, seriously, though. I mean, one of the things that I think can be helpful is even just start to hear yourself, hear the words you speak, and hear the thoughts in your head to start to develop that awareness. I’m a huge fan of living your mindset, like really bringing that day-to-day awareness and to every moment when I hear people say, oh, yeah, I practice mindset. 20 minutes a day or something. I’m like, Okay, well, what about the other 23 hours and 40 minutes?
So just developing that awareness of how do you speak? How do you refer to yourself? You know, I mentioned that identity is a big part of, I believe what gets in the way. And it’s kind of our biggest sort of obstacle to not so much to overcome necessarily, but again, to create that new relationship with.
And so even just starting to recognize, if you hear yourself say things like, Well, I’m the kind of person who or I’m not someone who or I would never bla bla bla, or Well, I always noticing things like that will start to give you clues of what that identity is. And you can almost think of it and you know, I don’t want people to think I’m implying this is some intentional deceptive thing, because it’s not it completely formed subconsciously, most of us aren’t even aware we have it or we’re doing it. And it’s to protect us, it’s for self preservation. So it’s not a bad thing. But just to start to recognize, I think of it almost like a mask or like a coat of armor that we put on. And so when you can start to recognize what that mask or what that coat of armor is, that will be a big help to then start to recognize when it’s in play. And what you know, one of the examples that just came to mind is there anyone who may listen to Brene Brown or follow anything of hers, she talks about how she knows she’s puffing up and like putting on that armor when she introduces herself as Dr. Brene. Brown.
You know, when she’s feeling confident and owning her power and feeling good, and her skin, she’s just Brene. But when she’s feeling like she needs to make up for some lack. She’s Dr. Brene, Brown. And so that’s just one example of something like that like to start to notice for yourself, how you refer to yourself.
So you can then start to recognize, oh, that thing’s kicking in again. And that awareness is what then allows to, you know, brings the subconscious into the conscious that can start to shine a light on things to then have the power to choose. Okay, do I want to keep going down this path? Or do I want to shift who I’m being and how I’m showing up and how I’m coming across right now?
Samantha: Yeah, because when we shine a light on those things, it takes away the, you know, the force of it, I guess, or takes away the potency of it. Yes. The light is shone on it. Yeah, I think that’s right. It does now, whether it does or not. You know, once it’s lit up, yes. It’s like, okay, well, the power is sort of taken away from it now. Know what it is. And now we can do love that.
I know, you’ve got a master class that goes through some of this. Can you just talk us through the sorts of things in your transforming millions masterclass, you know, and how it ties into everything that we’ve talked about today?
Spencer: Yeah, absolutely. It definitely is kind of an overall connector for a lot of this, but will allow people to go deeper, and really start to explore and recognize some things for themselves. So it goes, kind of touches on a high level on my full framework of alignment with who you are, what you’re here for, and what matters most. So being able to recognize, for instance, are you living your purpose right now? Or is it just some words on a piece of paper? And are you aligned with the kind of life and the kind of business that you want, that goes into the identity, it talks a little bit more to help people then be able to recognize, to identify what their identity is to be able to see.
So that’s, I think, is a really key powerful tool to be able to have to recognize, oh, that’s the identity, I’m going to be honest, they may not get it just out of the masterclass, but they’ll get a little bit more than they’ve gotten here today. And we’ll kind of I think, open some doors to dig deeper on that. And then connects also to reinvention is the third piece which is where I referred in the beginning to bringing your full self with a capital S into your whole human experience, really bringing all of it together so that we’re living in our full power.
Samantha: I love that. I love that. We’ll put the link for that masterclass into the show notes so that you can click that and go and get a copy of that. So if you’re on your app, just scroll down and have a look or go over to Influence By Design podcast.com, and it will be over there.
Spencer, thank you so much for nerding out with me here today. Yes, thank you. I have an absolute blast chatting to you. And thank you so much for sharing all of your wisdom bombs that you have with us today.
Spencer: Thank you so much. It was a pleasure.
Samantha: Thanks for joining me for this episode of the Influence By Design podcast. If you want more head over to samanthariley.global/podcast for the show notes and links to today’s gifts and sponsors. And if you’re looking to connect with other coaches and experts who are growing and scaling their business too, come and join the coaches course creators and speakers group on Facebook, the links are all waiting for you over at samanthariley.global