500: Conversation On The Couch - A Candid Conversation About Our Life As Entrepreneurs with Kiri-Maree Moore and Carl Taylor

In the midst of all the hustle and bustle of running a business, owners can sometimes forget about the important things that make their entrepreneurial journey truly meaningful. The challenges and constant decision-making can make business feel less than wonderful.

In this episode of Influence by Design, we celebrate a remarkable milestone in the history of our podcast – our 500th episode! I’m joined by two entrepreneurs who inspire me every day – my good friends, Kiri-Maree Moore and Carl Taylor.

Over the course of our show, we have had the privilege of engaging with exceptional guests, experts and thought leaders who have shared their insights, stories and expertise with a passion. And now, we have a behind-the-scenes and relaxed conversation about the topics that go unnoticed but hold great value.

Whether you’re a seasoned entrepreneur or someone who has just started your business, this episode highlights valuable perspectives and strategies that can help you thrive in the dynamic world of business ownership. So, grab your beverage of choice and, find a comfortable spot on the couch and let’s dive in.

IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL DISCOVER:

Kiri-Maree’s time cycle framework and how it helps prioritise her days (02:30)
The importance of understanding your own drivers (04:30)
What motivated Carl to start his own business (12:13)
What triggered the shift in Carl’s life drivers (16:52)
The conversation entrepreneurs should be having (21:43)
Taking ownership of what needs to be done (25:20)
The victim culture VS taking ownership (30:13)
The significance of getting back up after each challenge (37:40)
Why making mistakes can be transformational for your journey (39:20)
Why is it difficult to just be ourselves? (45:37)
The advantages of knowing your safe place and who to trust (52:13)
The impact of sharing stories without thinking about the judgments of others (55:22)
What needs to change in the business world (01:06:30)

QUOTES:

“Anything that you put focus to, you will go towards.” -Kiri-Maree Moore
“If I can help anyone not to have to go through what I’ve gone through, and they can springboard off that to their next, then it’s worth going through that journey.” -Kiri-Maree Moore
“In the stories we tell ourselves, we are the storyteller, we decide what that is. And if that could be owned by enough people, that would change the world.” -Carl Taylor
“You cannot make a mistake, you’re exactly where you are. Everything happens exactly as it should, not too early, not too late. You are where you’re supposed to be right at this moment.” -Carl Taylor
“It’s always worthwhile to not get caught in the story. Take the lessons from the story see different perspectives.” – Samantha Riley

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ABOUT KIRI-MAREE MOORE

Kiri-Maree Moore is a Global Advisor, Strategist, Culture Speaker, and Investor. She is a strong believer that there is a need for a new approach to leadership and culture change that will deal with economic, social, and environmental challenges.

She helps identify leadership solution pathways that close the gap between the challenges and solutions. Kiri-Maree aims to help leaders connect, engage and use the muscle of Human Intelligence.

Kiri-Maree guides leaders into a journey that lets them analyze Leadership Awareness, values Leadership Ownership, and develops sustainable Leadership Change.

ABOUT CARL TAYLOR

Carl Taylor is an entrepreneur, #1 Bestselling author, and Australia’s leading freedom focused business strategist.

For more than 2 decades, Carl has walked the entrepreneurs journey, starting, buying, building and selling businesses from Gift Baskets to IT Services.

After teaching himself to code in the mid 90’s, he started his first business in 2001 at the age of 15 and went on to sell 3 businesses and become the author of a #1 business book all before the age of 25.

After financially retiring at the age of 31 his focus shifted from self security towards contribution and being a guiding light for others through his books, speaking, social media content and privately held businesses.

His fundamental belief is that business and wealth are best used to create a rising tide that raises the standards of living for all.

Samantha Riley (00:01):

Welcome to the Influence by Design Podcast. I’m Samantha Riley, authority positioning strategist for coaches and experts. If you’re ready to build a business that gives you more than just a caffeine addiction, and you dream of making more money, having more time, and having the freedom to be living your best life, then you’re in the right place, it’s time to level up.

Welcome to today’s episode of Influence By Design. I’m very excited to bring you today’s episode, which is episode 500. I didn’t foresee me getting to 500. It’s not that I went out not thinking I would get here. It’s just not something that was actually my focus. When I first started the podcast, it was just, you know, to get going. And then as I got going, it was let’s get to Episode 100. And then I just got into the flow of things. And we just kept going. And then a couple of months ago, the team reached out said, so we’ve got episode 500 coming up. And I was like, oh my goodness, how did that happen? So thank you for listening, whether this is your very first episode that you’re listening to, or whether you have been a longtime listener of the podcast, I so appreciate you. Because if you weren’t listening, then I wouldn’t be doing this.

I’ve got so much gratitude for the amount of amazing people I’ve met through this podcast, the guests that I’ve had on that have all shared their wisdom, their insights, their stories, they’re so much laughter, not just in the recording, but on before we start recording. And when we finish recording, I’ve had so many amazing conversations. And yeah, like I said, I feel very blessed to be able to do this. And put this into the ears of so many people who are building their businesses and want to build the business of their dreams, helping you stay motivated, inspired, maybe it’s giving you a tactic that you’ve been able to implement. Whatever it is, I would love to hear from you, and share your thoughts and ideas what came up from you in any episode.

But I’m really, really excited to bring you today’s episode, because when I was thinking about episode 500 of what I wanted to do, my brain went to Alright, who could I interview? And you know, what big names would I love to have on the show? And, you know, what could I do? That was really exciting. And then I really thought about it. And one of the things that so many people in my world say to me when I share, you know, I was interviewing this person, and afterwards we talked about this topic. I’ve actually had multiple people say to me, we would love to hear the conversation. You know, after you’ve actually finished recording the episode, we’d love to hear those sort of conversations that happened in the green room. So it kind of got me thinking, what if I could do that. So I reached out to two of my very closest friends, and asked if they would be willing to come on the show and have a chat.

Like we were just sitting on the couch how we normally chat. And whilst we were recording, and we recorded this for a podcast, the kind of conversation you’re about to hear is the sort of conversations that I have with these friends. Every time I see them. This is a real sneak peek behind the curtain or a little peek behind the curtain to hear the sorts of things that we talk about. And the kinds of conversations that we talk about. We do get a little bit silly.

That’s exactly what we do in real life. We do get deep, it’s exactly what we do in real life. So I’m very excited to bring you this conversation today. It is the longest podcast episode I’ve ever recorded. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed recording this. Anyway, let’s just jump in. Let’s roll the tape. So welcome to episode 500 Kiri-Marie Moore and Carl Taylor. It’s so awesome to have you both here to have a conversation on the couch today.

Carl Taylor (03:52):

It’s great to be here. Awesome. Well, caller couch are we sitting on?

Samantha Riley (03:56):

Oh my goodness, like seriously, every time you just wait, you get me. We’re sitting on a white leather couch perfect because that’s what I’ve always wanted a white leather couch. And every one I’ve always lived with the light, you know, they get dirty. So one day, I might just have to buy one and just get a cleaner to come and clean my white leather couch every week. I just

Carl Taylor (04:16):

buy two and have one in storage. So when it gets too dirty, then go and bring the new one up and no one knows. So he

Samantha Riley (04:21):

I like the way you think Carl Taylor. I like the way you think. So like I said today want to have this conversation. That’s kind of like a little bit behind the scenes and not talk about the usual. You know, this is a tactic that we use or this is the way business is going but, like, have a conversation like we do behind the scenes. We’ve known each other for a long time I’ve known Karen Murray 10 years, Carl, just a little over 10 years. I think like Tom gets away from us. Yeah. And with all three of us together and separately. We’ve had some amazing conversations and I know say that every time I have a conversation with you both, you know, it’s so sort of motivating, empowering, inspiring to have conversations with like minded people. So I just thought we’d dive in today and ask each other some questions and see what pops up. Sounds good.

Carl Taylor (05:18):

Sounds good.

Kiri-Marie Moore (05:19):

All right. Sounds awesome.

Samantha Riley (05:21):

And you get to ask me questions, too. That’s a little bit

Kiri-Marie Moore (05:24):

that’s risky. Sam, that’s risky.

Samantha Riley (05:26):

I was gonna say seeing we started off with I can’t answer what color, you know, couch we’re sitting on this could be very risky. But Carrie, Marie, I want to start with you. Because you are someone that just does so much in your life. I have had you on the podcast a couple of times before. So we’re not going to go into kind of what you do, because we’re going to link that up in the show notes I want, you know, go back and listen to episodes with Kerry Murray and that I’ve had with Carl, but you do so many things. I want to know how you prioritize your days, so that you get things done. And I know you don’t get everything done. So how do you prioritize what needs to be done? And what gets pushed to the side?

Kiri-Marie Moore (06:10):

Yeah, such a great question. Because I think many of us want to be doing lots of things. We’ve all got the same hours in the day. So how do we actually do what we really want to do, and not just kind of often what we have to do, right? And so I always have this thought, I know my bigger picture, I know where I’m heading. And as long as I’m shifting the dial closer to that, with whatever decisions I’m making whatever steps I’m doing today, it is going to be a good day. And so to break that down to even like every day, what do you do, I time cycle, it is the biggest thing that I do.

And I really are careful with my time, I’m careful who I hang out with what I do with that time, and I prioritize anything that you put focus to, you will go towards. And so if it’s not going to move me towards and shift that dial, then it’s just not going to be a part of my world. And, you know, I don’t know about you. But over the last few years, if there’s one thing I’ve pulled from the last few years, it’s that time is precious humans are precious, and you do not know your, you know, your day nor your hour, so I better make the most of my day an hour. So the reason I do so much is I figure I’ve been put on this earth as well do something with it. And let’s make every literally second count.

Samantha Riley (07:35):

Totally, and cow just jump in at any time as well. If you feel something comes up for you, because we were having a bit of a laugh before we hit record, all three of us are generators. So I said we’re going to be responding our little butts off here as this conversation happens. But I want to dive deeper into that. Because right now you’ve got your own company decision velocity global, you’re the CEO of million dollar coach, you are also have this massive health goal at the moment where you’re spending like two hours in the gym every day, it’s really easy to be running one company and say I don’t have time to get to the gym to get to the gym for two hours.

And I know because I’m doing a daily gym as well. It’s not just two hours, right? It’s the getting ready. It’s the driving to the gym, it’s driving back. And it’s like the million, you know, lots of washing you need to do every week, because you’ve got training clothes up, you know, twice a day and hear washes and all these like, you know, weird things that probably you don’t have to deal with Carl. But it adds lots and lots and lots of hours to the day. Like, I just want to dive even deeper. How is it that you can still prioritize that? When I know that you’ve got meetings, you’ve got a huge team that’s reaching out, because there’s going to be plenty of people listening, and I’ve done it before and said I’m too busy to get to the gym today. So how do you prioritize the personal time and know that it’s okay to let some of the business stuff go?

Kiri-Marie Moore (09:11):

And if you were to go and I was just thinking about that, and if you were gonna do it so you how would you do that? I mean, reality is anything that we want to do, we will do if you’ve got strong enough drivers that you want to do it. I’ve got really strong drivers for my health side of me. You know, I play a beat game. I do a lot of things. I don’t expect everyone else to do that. That’s priority. To me. Being a mama is a priority.

To me, being an awesome human is a priority to me. For that to be a truth. I have to put things in place to make that happen. That might mean I have to get up earlier than most people I get on with my day and most people are still sleeping their day off, you know, and I’ve probably done half of the things that I want to achieve in that day. The rest is just bonus And I think, you know, there’s times when you have to be so flexible, you have to read. I mean, we’re at this time of the recording, I’m based in Croatia in split at the moment. So you know, I’m doing some crazy hours, there’s some late nights, early mornings, then just be flexible, have a nap in the daytime, take some time out, go and have a meal with the kids, go walk through the day know that you’re going to be doing meetings that morning or night. And that’s okay. And I think that that is, in a world that is forever changing, because it is changing right now. And real fast, we have to one have capacity, you know, go what capacity do you have, for me to play at this level, I need a B capacity on my physical side. And then the other side of it is okay, if we want capacity, then we need to then also be able to go, Well, what are our yeses? And what are our nose. So know what those drivers are? Right? And I’ve got really strong drivers. And I say that a lot in my life, but it’s the truth. And those drivers when I don’t want to go to that gym, and I don’t want it funny enough, I don’t want to be doing a two hour workout every single day. I am not superhuman, like cow was, you know, as we met here, right? Exactly. And I just did not, but I am really driven. And I am really determined to make the best of my wife.

And I mean that with certainty, because if I’m not, then I won’t get up. And if it’s not worth it, then I will not make the effort to get to that gym or do that next meeting, or I’ve just set up another couple of companies as well. So you know, I’m not surprised to find it. And the other piece. Well, the other piece of this is that I don’t and I literally said this to a client today is we’ve got to stop stop talking about AI. Because as long as there’s AI, there’s our limited resource, right? But if we talk about we, oh my goodness, the world is our oyster. And we can do anything and everything because it’s like, Who do I need in my world? Who could I partner up with? How could I collaborate with? Who do I need to innovate the next thing? Where sounds exciting? How you reckon with that? Yeah, I’m gonna ask how?

Carl Taylor (12:23):

Yeah, well, there’s a few things that were coming up, when you were talking about that. One, the idea of, you know, I should be doing this, I should be doing I should all these things I need to do, and you’re not doing it, I think there’s two conversations need to be had one, if you really want to do it, and you’re not doing it, then deep down on a subconscious level, you don’t really want to do it, there’s something else you’re valuing higher priorities. And if that’s truly something you want to solve, go solve it.

But there’s also I was reminded of something Byron Katie talks about, it’s like, you know, if you’re like, I should have done that thing? The answer is, Well, you shouldn’t have because if you were supposed to have done it, you would have done it by now. Like it just, if you take the frame in the belief that everything happens exactly as it should no matter. You know, not not too early, not too late life is unfolding as it should. If you feel like I should have gone to the gym today, and you haven’t gone to the gym today, well, based on the context of your life, don’t beat yourself up about it, you didn’t go, if you were meant to go, you would have gone. However, coming back to that decision and what Camry is all about decision velocity. If you make a decision, you want to change that behavior, and you want to change that. That’s a whole whole nother thing. And then how do you get support. I know for me, I was really good for a period of time, I was getting up every morning before kids getting up every morning, straight out of bed doing my workout, just 10 minutes at home, that’s gone completely out the window. And I haven’t really what I’ve done I’ve actually I’m not standing on it right now. But I bought myself a little treadmill to go onto my stand up desk, just so I can get my steps up. And my again, standing at this desk often on meetings or just doing things or even just listening. I don’t do it when I’m on a podcast because it’s just a little bit too noisy for that.

But I found a solution to get how to at least get my momentum, my movement. And so you can always find a solution. You know, I know taki I don’t know if you do it too. But I talk he’s got a standing appointment in his calendar at like 12 o’clock every day with his his personal trainer, like there are ways you can find to lock it in into your frequency. So for something like working out and I love, I think I’ll finish on what you were saying there kilmurry Is that as business owners, I think we often get so stuck in the idea of I’ve got to do it all myself or I’m the only one who can do this. And so the idea of going oh camera he’s like yeah, I just watched a couple more companies. Yeah, well, but a whole bunch of that process. I’m assuming here you weren’t really involved you know, it’s a conversation with the accountant and they go and create the companies needed and then you’ve probably got some other people on the team that are helping coordinate various bits and pieces and so you’re a resource of many that is driving forward this vision you’re not the one going okay now I need to do this and and I need to do this and I need to do this and I need to do this and I need to do this. Yeah. As an entrepreneur.

We think that that’s what how As to be and I know for all three of us, we’ve been that solopreneur, we’ve been a team of one. So I get it. But if you continue to stay in that you will never be able to handle multiple companies multiple projects, you won’t be able to grow to a certain point, without thinking about we instead of me.

Samantha Riley (15:19):

Yeah, I love that so much. And that’s going to segue beautifully. And what I wanted to ask you, Carl, because Kira Murray talked very much about drivers. Now you started your first business really early on, you had a gift basket business, if I remember correctly. Was that your first business or?

Carl Taylor (15:38):

No, that was my third business I bought to seventh Gen six, I can’t remember I bought I bought it. I sold in 2008. So it was a little bit before that. It was maybe 2016 When I bought that, and I already had an IT company at that time. That’s the first business I had was a web design business, which I did in high school and in sold after high school.

Samantha Riley (15:58):

So what was it that motivated? What was your driver to go into business? I didn’t even realize it was in high school. So what was it that motivated you to start your business at that age?

Carl Taylor (16:08):

Yeah, I’ve done a lot of soul searching on this, like the complete transparent answer is a lot of insecurity and desire for significance. And in particular, that especially at that age, it was to be approved of and feel like I’m worthy of women.

Firstly, I was a very lanky and awkward looking teenager. And my family came from, like, we call ourselves, you know, middle class, I wouldn’t or maybe even upper middle considering based on Sydney. But we didn’t grow up with a good mindset around money, let’s put it that way or wasn’t. Money doesn’t grow on trees, all that kind of stuff was satellite and things I wanted, we couldn’t have and desire to travel overseas, that never really happened. So I always kind of for some reason, I wanted to have money because I want to be able to have these things. So it was a driver. At one point I wanted to be Australia’s Bill Gates, that was one of my dreams. I said, I want to be Australia’s Bill Gates, because at the time, he was the richest man in the world. And he was also tech. I was a techie guy. He was the CEO of Microsoft. So I loved what he was all about. And I’ve taught myself to code.

But I was a bit of, I wouldn’t call myself a complete loser. But I wasn’t a super popular kid at school. And I was often the friendzone guy, I was interested in these girls and they would never reciprocate. And so I kind of created this story in my mind that I’ll get back at my bullies because they would work for me one day, I remember there was one incident in my metalwork class, in particular, where this this particular kid, Luke, and he was right up in my face, and he had a protractor like a metal projective engraving into metal things, millimeters away from my eyeball, holding it up against my eyeball, all it would have taken is someone to bump him bump me and I would not be here with two eyes. It was a very intense moment of multiple sessions.

But that was one particular moment. I remember coming out of that class picking up my bag from the door, after the bell rang, and thinking to myself, I will own you one day, that was the story I had in my head, I will own you one day. And so I was like, I want to get rich and successful. So I can kind of prove all these people who didn’t think I was worthy of dating felt like they were gonna bully me they’ll regret those decisions. That was the driving force really.

And so I was like, I just want to be wealthy because then I’ll be able to have any woman I want. People will regret that they believe me and didn’t like me and blah blah, blah. That is I didn’t know what at the time but hindsight that is the true driver behind why I went down this path of how do I get wealthy How do I build my own business? How do I do my own thing? Yeah, I don’t know if you’re expecting that answer. But that’s that’s what I know is true.

Samantha Riley (18:39):

Whilst I wasn’t expecting that exact answer, knowing how deep you are and all the amount of work that you’ve done, I was expecting something like that because that’s what I love about when we have those conversations just the self reflection is so deep all the time. And I love that and I love that when we’re having those conversations with with you that and I don’t know about you Carrie Marie, but for me when I’m having what no no there was a conversation

Samantha Riley (19:10):

question. Oh god you and I have conversations we I know you’re staring is what you do so well. It’s like zone of genius. But where I was going with this is when I have a conversation with Carl you’re self reflection mirrors to me and I self reflect and you know come up with all sorts of new I guess ideas and experiences and my brains always popping off in you know, 15 million ways. But you did mention now that your dad and congratulations you have got the most gorgeous little daughter. What has changed for you obviously you’ve got the girl now. Okay, and congratulations on that too. You are now also engaged. What has changed for you or has it changed? I’m guessing it has from that story because you do Have the girl, what’s your driver now?

Carl Taylor (20:05):

Yeah, a lot has changed over. It’s been 20 I don’t exact number 2223 years since then since I started that first business. And so a lot has changed in that journey even before meeting my now partner and, and obviously having a child, what else say is changed the most since Talia has come along my daughter. It’s shifted in a way that I know other parents have told me in the past, but you don’t think you truly understand it until you are in it?

The motivation to continue to grow you guys both of you know, there was a phase in my life, where I kind of hit a point where I was like, Well, you know, I’m comfortable. I’m making decent money, I don’t really have to work very hard. My business works mostly without me like, I’m good. Like, what’s the point of making more money? I was I was in this quandary of like, Why do I make more money? What’s the point? And what’s shifted is I have this bigger vision of my goal. And deepest desire to provide is that Liz, my partner and Talia, my daughter never have to work a day in their life. I truly want that for them. I want my daughter grew up being able to pursue whatever she’s passionate about not because I need to go and get a job and do this thing. If she wants to, you know, whatever that may be.

She wants to do volunteering work, she wants to be a dancer, she wants to do something creative. I don’t really care what she wants to do, as long as it’s bringing joy to her life. And she doesn’t have to worry about oh, I need to go and get a job. That is one of my deepest desires. If I’m not here, I want to know that Liz never has to go and get a job, you know, she’s able to be a full time mom right now, there’s talk of will she go and do something after Talia is a bit older, neither of us know. And I want her to be in that position where again, she can choose to do whatever lights her up. That’s just something that I personally believe really strongly about that I want to provide for both of them. And to do that to really set that up in a way that I want to requires me to play a different level of game to build wealth both in the investing but in the business side.

Because the business, to me is just the cashflow generator, it solves problems and helps people but it’s the cashflow generator, build the wealth that provides those income streams, those passive sources to provide that. So that’s probably been one of my biggest thing, it’s given me a purpose greater than myself, you often read in books or people talk about you need a y greater than you. And you know, over the years before having a kid, you know, you try to come up with these sound good, like I want to change the world.

And I want to do this. And I’m sure there are people out there that truly, truly believe it. When I was trying to come up with those things, it sounded good. But deep in my heart and my core, I didn’t truly believe it. Like I didn’t care enough. But this I truly care about, like I will do whatever it takes to ensure that my partner and my daughter is set up that if I’m not around, or if I’m still around, even if I’m still around, that they never have to work a day in their life. And that’s, that’s a really strong driver that I’ve never experienced before in business.

Samantha Riley (22:58):

Yeah, I think I That’s amazing. Like, that’s a huge driver. But kids change you in a way that you can never ever put into words. You know, people always said to me, or you know, once you have a child, things are never the same. You don’t understand that you don’t understand the love that you can have for someone until you actually have your own child. And I know if you know, as parents, all three of us know, like really deeply what that is. And, you know, you mentioned at Kerry, Murray and Carl, but for me, it’s the same like, there is one reason I started my original business.

And it was to give my kids what we didn’t have. Because we and I say we me and my brother and my sister, we all had the same nicknames at school, and it was the poor kids. And I didn’t want my kids to have that nickname. And I didn’t want them to, you know, have the experiences that we had. It wasn’t that I had a bad childhood, like my parents loved us. But I never owned a brand new item of clothing until I was an adult working for myself. I’d never been overseas, you know, there was a whole heap of thing. I’d never been on an aeroplane. And I just wanted those things for my kids. And I think that that for me was definitely my driver. It was to to have the money to be able to give them what we didn’t have as kids or what I didn’t have a child.

Carl Taylor (24:16):

Yeah. 100% 100%. And I guess, you know, to ask you a question, Sam. I’m curious to know, as entrepreneurs, obviously you speak to a lot of them over, you know, this is episode 500. You’ve had lots of conversations on your podcasts and off podcast. What do you think is the biggest conversation or conversations that can be multiple that entrepreneurs need to be having but aren’t necessarily having a novel or even having

Samantha Riley (24:46):

Wow, the conversation that they need to be having? I love that you do this to me You always do this and you make my brain go. Always so deep of like, huh, I hadn’t actually thought about this before. I think the conversation that they need to be having that I don’t think people are going deep enough into is what they really want their life to look like. So I think that a lot of people think that their life and their business are two separate things. And even if they start off thinking, I want to go into business, because I want to have freedom, they still build out their business so that it’s separate, they don’t have the conversation of what the to look like, when they’re together.

Because they are, we’ve just in our conversation, just then, you know, all of us have talked about different things that have happening in our life, like going to the gym, or, you know, whatever it is, has to fit around our business. And I think that I got caught into this, of having, you know, putting my business first and trying to create a life, and it just doesn’t work. It’s like, what does that life need to look like, so that I can create my business so that it supports the lifestyle that I want.

And I think that even when I talk about this, and I do talk about it a lot people still don’t understand the depth to go to and what we really want our life to look like. And I don’t know this to be 100% True. And that’s in the words of you, Carl, you say that to me all the time.

But I don’t know if this is, you know, the full truth. But what I feel is that a lot of people put these shoulds on them of we should be doing this, or we should be doing that. And I’ll give you an example. There are people that are motivated by money, but they think it’s bad to say that they’re motivated by money. Like, just if you are motivated by money, like just go with that. And why were you shamed? Yeah, absolutely. Just own anger. That’s my motivator. So I think it’s that conversation around what do I really want my life to look like? What is it? You know, what are we here for you? We’re talking about it before Carrie Marie. And I think that for you and I in some of the conversations that we’ve had behind the scenes, you know, we’ve lost friends and family members over the last couple of years.

And, you know, I can even feel a now the emotion that comes up because it’s things that I hadn’t gone through as a child of losing friends and family members, like it really changes you. And so for me, and I know, for UK Marines, we’ve had a lot of these conversations, it changes what’s important. And I think for me, what I want people to walk away with this, just go we’ve got one shot at this, let’s friggin do it. Let’s do what we really want to do and make it happen.

Carl Taylor (27:34):

That’s powerful. That’s really powerful. Yeah. Kiri-Marie, I’d be curious, your response to one?

Samantha Riley (27:44):

Definitely.

Kiri-Marie Moore (27:46):

Look, you know, all of those, what you say there is just so important. And I talk a lot about your decision DNA. In other words, you know, the DNA in which we make our decisions within us. And if your DNA is heading in the way that you want it to, then that’s going to produce the results that you want, right? Like, I truly believe that.

And I think often our DNA is created through our conditionings, our biases, our environments, and things like that. And, you know, many, whether you’re an entrepreneur or not, do not look at that and do not, you know, realize how much that’s had an impact or will continue to have an impact on the decisions you keep making.

And then wonder why they head in these, these directions. They don’t even want to be in Yeah, and I see a lot of that and entrepreneur world right now. And there’s a lot of blame right now. And there’s a lot of, well, I just, you know, this is it. This is where I found myself, this is what’s been handed to me. And I just, I am such a true believer of going. Yes, that may have been the story to this point. But what are you going to take ownership of and I think that’s the piece that I really think that many of us need to own what it is we are meant to be doing and where we’re meant to be going and make those decisions based on what that DNA is for you. And going back to building out these businesses, companies, I also teach a lot around that we shouldn’t be building these businesses, companies, but we should be building a sustainable ecosystem. And that means what is going to pump that ecosystem to have flow within the pathways of it every direction that you need to go.

And I know that’s kind of deep and geeky, but it’s the truth that when we build out these ecosystems, we look at things like well, what do we need for us physically, emotionally, spiritually, to be able to have the capacity to have a full functioning ecosystem who needs to be in that ecosystem? Who doesn’t need to be in that ecosystem? We start asking different questions. And I think that we have been conditioned, so much and alive, to continue the same patterns and keep asking the same questions and wondering why the globe at this moment is heading in the direction that it is. And going back, I am one of those people, Carl, who think that the world can change and I want to be a part of that change. But I believe that that change comes from you and I being able to be willing to own what it is we’re meant to be doing, and what that needs to look like.

And I talk a lot about using the lens of humanity as stakeholders, humanity, meaning you and I, stakeholders, meaning the measure of value, what if every decision we made at the table, we’re going to add to the human race, we’re not going to take away from bring it back to the everyday person, Carl, Sam, you, me, us, you know, what if we make decisions that are going to add to the human race, not take away from, I believe, if multiple people did that, we actually would change what’s happening in culture right now.

And that’s where I go, What am I going to own? I can’t control what is not happening here, who’s doing this to me here, whatever else, but what can I control with what is in my hand right now. And I think, if only entrepreneurs, realize not only can they control what is in their hand, but they can also collaborate with so many more to make differences.

And then on top of that, that those differences is using your platform for voice of change. And I do believe each one of us has that platform. So I sort of see it all. And I think the thing that we’re have been taught so much in life is that everything is linear. And that it is not an ecosystem is not linear. It is full of very many variables, layers, pathways, and patterns, and which is made up of and I think that if we use different lenses to filter out how we make decisions, that it could be quite different. And that would be a new approach to how we do it. Was that deep into

Carl Taylor (32:17):

great depth? It actually popped a thought in my mind, Sam, I’ll respect you if you don’t want to go down this route. But no, no, wait, go in there. It popped this thought around. You mentioned some of the challenges in society. Yeah, and one of the ones that I’ve seen that really irks me, and is society, we seem to have shifted dramatically into what I see as a victim culture. Yeah, everyone’s saying positioning themselves in the general media have, I’m a victim, and therefore these things have happened to me. And you did this to me. And there’s a lot of projection on other people’s behaviors, as opposed to taking ownership to go. You know, it’s one of the key principles I talked about, in becoming bulletproof, where it’s like, people firing bullets all the time, but the person who lets the bullet through is you.

If a bullet hits you, whether you’re bulletproof or not, is ultimately up to you and the stories you take from the situation that happened. That’s all that happens. And I remember I played this is great board game called listen up. And it asks the questions constantly, you just land on these things. And you get to know the whole tagline of the board game is like turning strangers into friends love that. And one of the questions was like, if there was one thing that you could tell the whole population of the world, what would it be? And for me, it would be to truly deeply understand that the stories we tell ourselves, we are the storyteller. You decide what that is. I think if that could be owned by enough people that would change fitness, the world would change. They understood it. Yeah. So I don’t know. I don’t have a question on that. It just popped and we can go on that direction. But I would be curious to know what you think outside of the victim culture. What else is going on in the world that isn’t so

Kiri-Marie Moore (34:00):

I would also add to that victim that victim culture, there’s this whole thing on, I’ve got ADHD so I can’t, or I don’t, and I have to go there because seriously, all these different whether it’s ADHD, I’m dyslexic. It’s my genius son. It’s the thing that makes me think differently and out of the box. It is not my thing. It’s just we have I always say we have to look at it as humans first we are humans first. All of us are a part of the human race.

But we bring distinctions to the table, whether that’s ADHD whether that whatever that is, I don’t see those as disabilities I see those is these little cord the little things that a different ability I think they are that makes us think differently, look through different lenses, and maybe even come up with different ideas. And I think we’ve got to stop letting a lot of these things be our excuses too. While yes, things, it’s easy to look for limitations, I’ve got zillions of the view on my list. I’ve got so many of them, right.

But I just don’t let those things determine where I want to go tomorrow. Or even today, right? Yeah, I really don’t. And I think the exciting piece is that, you know, and I have to, I’ve talked about this before, I think on your podcast, though, Sam, but I had to embrace for a year and a half failure, because I wasn’t good at failing. I was like a perfectionist, right? So I’m a,

Samantha Riley (35:31):

you’re a recovering perfectionist,

Kiri-Marie Moore (35:33):

I am in recovery on it, because he used to hold me back, because I didn’t want to do anything. But by the way, there was a reason to why I was a perfectionist. The perfectionism was because I was in and out of families. And if I did things wrong, there were huge consequences to that. So there became this innate ability to have to go, I’ve got to do that, too. And it wasn’t for myself, it was so that I would make everyone happy, and everyone would love me and that I’d be, you know, not, not. I know, lots of people think I love disrupting and being a rebel and nothing, I actually don’t, I love distracting patterns. I don’t, I’m not a disruptive person in that way. I just want to give voice to things when I don’t like something, because I think it’s not giving someone a voice, right. And we’re in that case of going back to that story of, you know, I would find myself being this perfectionist, because I was trying to keep the really keep the pace.

And I didn’t want to have to suffer the consequences when that piece wasn’t there. And so that became such a thing in my DNA as I was growing up. And I embraced for a year and a half, learning how to fail, because I wasn’t good at failure. I wasn’t good at making mistakes, I didn’t like looking at my limitations, because then I would see failure. And that will always hold you back have that as a truth in your life. And I knew that if I was to play at the bigger level that I needed to play, that failure was going to be a part of my journey, I set an intention to do it for a year, I had to do it for a year and a half, because I was not very good at it at first. Now I love it. Because it’s part of what I learn. There’s always a good insight.

There’s always something that I learned from someone through it, I develop through it. And now it’s just part of my learning curve of my next level, because by the way, man, I make mistakes. I have limitations. I have every excuse, why don’t want to get up and get out of bed and get on with my zillions of things that I had today. And yet, I also go. But if I was to, you know, just voice to maybe something that could help one other human, would that make a big enough difference for me to get out of bed?

And reality is yes, it would. And it’s those moments that now I love embracing because pattern being a human is that we’ve got these flaws, we’ve got these mistakes, we’ve got these failures, we’ve got these challenges, man, you know, you’re in tears earlier that I think part of who we are as humans is we heard, we have tears, we get angry, we get frustrated, we have joy, we have happiness, we have all those feelings. That’s kind of the ecosystem of who you are. And we need to learn how to navigate that not hide it totally. And I think as much as we can be excited about where we’re going. It’s about who we are, and how we show up and what that looks like.

Samantha Riley (38:41):

Yeah. And you mentioned then about the like the superpowers as opposed to sort of like putting yourself, I’ll put it in air quotes, like in the box. Like, you know, I’m this therefore I can’t do that. I know you’re a big Tony Robbins fan, Carl. But Tony Robbins talks about the fact that the way that he was treated by his mom is what actually has given him the expertise and the skills that he has now in you know, to build his empire. So I think it’s always worthwhile not getting caught in the story. But taking the lessons from the story or seeing what the other perspective is. Because like you said, we’re all human, we all have these flaws, and we’re not perfect, but we need to embrace that and use that to our advantage.

Kiri-Marie Moore (39:22):

Does the question for Sam on that one? Does that drive you when you like if you are upset about something does that drives me towards or away from Sam? Because people are driven by either, you know, you talk about the way from Dallas, right? Yeah,

Samantha Riley (39:39):

yeah.

Kiri-Marie Moore (39:40):

What’s that for you?

Samantha Riley (39:41):

So I would say the majority I’m gonna say that 80% Is that I’m definitely the person that is like inspired to move forwards like I’m moved towards things. I know you said it to me. My brother says it to me all the time. I’ve never met anyone that’s been knocked down as much as you and keeps Getting up, like my brother keeps saying, how do you do it, I can’t figure out how you just keep getting back up.

And I kind of picture myself like, you know, those blowup dolls that have got like the rounded bottom and you like you punch them, and they just keep popping back up. I feel like sometimes that’s my life. But there is 20%, where if I’m not having a really great time of it, that I can get caught in that, you know that I’m afraid to do that, you know, I’m scared to do that because of, you know, whatever the ramifications, usually some sort of fear of judgment of other people. I do have those human times. However, I very much call myself out on them and refuse to get to stay in those times, you know, are very much like, Okay, we’re gonna eat some chocolate and lie down under a rug and have a little sup to myself. But tomorrow, it’s all over. But enough of that, Sam, you’ve got to get up and you’ve got to keep moving forward. Because otherwise, what’s it all for?

Carl Taylor (40:57):

You know, it’s interesting here, we’ve talked a bit about Tony Robbins and some of this idea of what motivates us. It all comes back to again, we’re just talking the stories like Ken Murray, while you were talking you were talking about these mistakes, Tony has talked about how the way his mother was with him kind of led him down his path. Byron Katie, I mentioned earlier, but she had a profound impact on my life in 2019, highly recommend reading her books, listen to audiobooks is how I did it. And she’s got this one saying just like when she she heard that all people were going around going, namaste. She misheard this. This is her story. She says that she thought they were saying no mistakes. And she’s like, yes, exactly. No mistake. No mistakes.

And I think if you can take that as a story, like because there’s always stories happening, like you’re making a story right now, while you’re listening to this, about me about care, Marie, about Sam, the stories about yourself, this story’s coming up all the time. You are that storyteller, though you can decide just because you have a thought doesn’t make it true. And so if you look back on your life, and you can go well, I made these mistakes. What if you said, No, I didn’t make a mistake, it’s actually impossible for me to make a mistake. Because on my journey of my path of where I’m supposed to be right now, on this life, if you believe in multiple lives, then maybe it leads to multiple lives. If you just believe in one life, then this is your path and your journey in this life. It’s like, well, that’s just part of what got you here, you wouldn’t be here, we could all stay. Right now.

If we look back, there are certain days elements moments in our life that if they hadn’t occurred wouldn’t have put you on the path to get you here. I know. That’s true of me. You know, we all have them. And so right now, in this moment, every mistake you think you have is just another dot that potentially that thing that you think you screwed up, and that sale you think you lost, and that business that failed, could actually be the key moment that is transforming the direction of your life that you have no idea was going to happen. And when we attach to the idea that I screwed that up, I made a mistake that was not right, like have ownership. You know, some people talk about the difference between regret and remorse. Like I try not to have any regrets.

I have plenty that I’m remorseful for in my life, plenty of things that were the knowledge I have today, if I could go back and do them differently, I would. But I don’t regret that they happen because they made me who I am today. And just to give a bit of context for people listening. In 2019, I had this relationship come to an end that sent me on a path of looking at my own codependent behaviors, all sorts of things really took me on a deep self reflection, as Sam was saying, I was already pretty self reflective as it was. But this took me super deep. Yeah. And it ultimately led to me going through, I did an app, an Alcoholics Anonymous program. I’m not alcoholic, I’ve never been an alcoholic, but I did the 10 step program.

But I did it on codependency and other other behaviors that I found that weren’t serving me. And through that program, in particular, really, you start to learn just how debilitating shame is. So many people walk around whether you’re conscious of not ashamed of your own behavior. And when you attach to that, there’s a difference between guilt and shame. Your shame is I am a bad person, this happened I did this, therefore I am bad. Guilt is I did this and I have remorse for it. I wish I hadn’t done that. Or I do it differently.

That’s a different guilt is healthy, but shame to go I did this thing, therefore I’m bad or this thing happened to me. Therefore I am not worthy. I am a terrible person that is debilitating. And ultimately, if you’re a spiritual person, I think that’s holding you back, blocking your spiritual pathways. And while we were talking about this, it was just coming through me that that’s a message that maybe someone listening maybe you need to hear that you’ve attached yourself to certain moments in your life. You’re creating these stories of shame that I am bad because of this. And I had that mistake and therefore I’m bad. And if that’s you listening just I encourage you to shift your stories. Namaste, there are no mistakes.

That’s not what namaste actually means but I take on Byron Katie’s approach, no mistakes, you cannot make a mistake. You’re exactly where you are. Everything happens exactly as it should not too early, not too late you are where you’re supposed to be right in this moment. And when it’s time, it’ll happen. And I don’t know that I got nothing else where I’m going, my brains come to a blank so that I’ve clearly finished whatever

Samantha Riley (45:12):

pace and I love it. I love it. I love it. And, you know, as even having this conversation with you, I feel so grateful to have you both in my lives, you know, everyone’s getting to hear this for, you know, an hour, I get to have you in my lives all the time. And I’m very, very grateful. And I just wanted to share that right now.

Carl Taylor (45:32):

Wow, thank you so grateful for you, too. So now,

Kiri-Marie Moore (45:39):

I don’t know if Sam would say that all the time. 24/7 24/7.

Samantha Riley (45:44):

Not 24/7. Because you know, what’s really special about our friendship, and this is what I love about our friendship with all three of us, is that we’re totally okay. And not just okay, but welcome. Real honesty. And I’ve had lots of friendships in my life that have been I’ve had beautiful friendships, but there’s still not that raw honesty of, you know, questioning something. And I think that what I love about that is that you both hold me accountable to my own BS sometimes, and really have to step up. And that’s what I love about our friendships. Yeah,

Carl Taylor (46:25):

I think it’s important for any friendship, right to have have someone that I think that’s what good friends do is, they will call you on your BS. They won’t just go Oh, that’s nice.

Samantha Riley (46:33):

Yeah, not really listening. Yeah. Yeah. Or as Carrie Murray’s favorite quote is, and we’ve all had it. So tell me more about that.

Kiri-Marie Moore (46:45):

Am I that predictable? That’s great.

Samantha Riley (46:49):

We love you for it. Yeah. Appreciate

Kiri-Marie Moore (46:51):

that. But here’s the thing, like I say that honesty and rawness. Like, I wonder why we can’t do that with more relationships. Hmm. And, you know, one of the things that I get a lot with what I’m doing right now in my life, is, I can’t thank you so much for being so honest, and real and raw in front of, basically the camera, and then I turn it on, and I’m just me, I’m Mayweather. And that is actually something

I’ve heard a lot in the last little while you’re you no matter whether you’re on it, you know, sitting at the table with global leaders sitting at the table with everyday humans, sitting in the dirt in the village, whatever it is, and, you know, with my kids, you guys have all hung out with me with the fam, I am who I am no matter what. And I wonder, and I’m curious around this right, is why do we not just show up like this? Why do we let the world keep continuing to direct the way that we are? If we can be so honest, in this conversation in the way that we relate to each other here? Why is this such a difficult thing outside of this circle? And I’m trying that at UCO. Like, why?

Carl Taylor (48:04):

Well, my first thought is of more very scientific and probably anthropology, whatever the word is, and for Anthropology, concept, that word you know, if you think about as a go back to tribal times of society, you Why do we have this huge social anxiety of needing to feel included within our groups, it’s baked into us, because back in the days of wandering, the plains of Africa, and all of that, if you were not accepted by your tribe, they might just leave you, and you’re left in the wild alone, man. Now in today’s society, you can function alone quite well. But in that society, if you’re alone, like you’ll now have zero protection from the lions and everything else. So we have this old legacy part of our society that deeply needs to feel accepted. And so that puts these walls up where we feel fear of how others may perceive us, and we won’t be accepted in our group. So I think that’s ultimately what drives a lot of it.

Kiri-Marie Moore (49:03):

The problem there, though, is that navigating when navigating from the tribe, and knowing how to do that, or where to go to find your sub tribe, or the another tribe, or what is that, like, how can we do that better? Like, let’s bring that every day? Yeah. Because

Samantha Riley (49:19):

right, is it difference, right?

Carl Taylor (49:20):

We own each other for a decade, we’ve had time. Like, it’s, I believe that we’re all capable of this. And that’s what I love about that board game, I was mentioning you how quickly you can get into deep conversation. And what I love about playing it is you very quickly noticed the people who are really uncomfortable getting deep, because they’ll get a deep question.

And one of the cool things in this game that you get the thing called a Get Real card, so you get six of them. And if someone answers a question, you always have the opportunity to give them a Get Real card and basically challenge them to go deep. Go deep with a follow up question. So you can kind of it depends on who you’re playing with. But if you know if I’m playing I often want to go deeper. But there are times that I’m playing with someone that I don’t know them super well and even all Hold back. I’m going too deep too soon, because I’m like, Well, I don’t want to feel super uncomfortable.

Kiri-Marie Moore (50:04):

Yeah. Is that you not wanting to upset them? Or is that you not feel uncomfortable? Because if you felt comfortable enough, would you just do it? Because that’s just your natural response? I don’t know. Like, I’m questioning.

Carl Taylor (50:20):

Totally, I think there’s elements of it, right? There’s me going, I’m getting into their business, right? I’m going okay, well, they might react badly to me going, they might feel uncomfortable, and therefore them feeling uncomfortable, they may project that onto I don’t like Carl. So there’s absolutely at the core of it, it’s me going well, I want them to like me, I don’t want them to feel pushed or triggered by me. So I’m managing their own behaviors, which is a codependent behavior. So I would say, at the core of it, if I had a feeling that I wanted to do something, but I hold back out of fear that’s on me and my stuff, versus if I truly am seeing that they’re deeply uncomfortable, and I’m doing it out of love. That’s the difference is, I guess the question is, are you doing or not doing something out of fear? Or are you doing or not doing something out of love? Yeah.

Kiri-Marie Moore (51:07):

So how could we navigate even that situation? Sorry, Sam, even that situation? How can we navigate that to going opening it up? That it’s either the ego, they can take it? Or they can leave that alone, but we’re not holding back? Because we are feeling uncomfortable? Or? So we’re giving that space? That’s what I’m always, I guess I’m so curious about it, because I’m always trying to go, how can I open more space for more people to feel more comfortable to navigate that kind of conversation?

Because I think that we are never ever going to go deeper levels. We’re never going to trust society, we’re never going to have that transparency we want unless we’re willing to go there ourselves. And again, take ownership of that, right? So I’m like, that’s why I’m so curious to push on this right now is I’m really looking to see if I was willing to go there. Is it actually going to make them feel more uncomfortable? Or is it actually going to make them go, Hey, this is all good.

So a little thing that I would do in that situation, just as a side thing, is that I would tend to go if I feel someone feeling uncomfortable, I go, Oh, I wonder if the story of mine, this pace could relate to that person right now. And that gives a vulnerability for where I’m at, then helps to give them a vulnerability to go. Actually, this is what I’m dealing with, or this is why this is difficult or whatever. Anyway, I just think that’s an interesting thing. Any thoughts on that? Well, a,

Samantha Riley (52:42):

I think how was halfway through it. I thought that only got half. I wasn’t sure if you were or not?

Carl Taylor (52:49):

No, I’ve lost track of where I was at. But I I’m happy

Samantha Riley (52:53):

seeing the process of the conversation. So my thought on that is everything comes down to trust. So I’m a very vulnerable person. And I share a lot and I share a lot more than some people share. If I know that I’m in a safe place where I know that someone isn’t going to use something against me for their own benefit. So I believe that we can go deep, but maybe, and I’m quite willing to be challenged over this because I haven’t played that game with you cow. But it would be different because I know you.

But if I was in a group of people I’d never met, would I go as deep and have the vulnerable conversations is what I would have, you know, in a place where I felt completely safe. And I know that my story is in, you know, in the sanctum of our friendship, I think that trust takes a little bit of time to build. And I also think that trust is transferred. And I’ll give you an example of this. Cara Maria, you ran global human intelligence forum a few years ago, and it was at a time where there was a lot of unrest in the world.

And there was a lot of conversations that a lot of us were afraid to have for fear of being judged. But I had questions and I had questions because I wanted to understand some of these situations better. And they were questions that I knew if I just threw them out to the world that I could be completely vilified for, but I knew that in the safe place, even though I didn’t know the other people that I was, you know, in a zoom, you know, it’s just a Zoom meeting room to get I didn’t met them before. But I knew that it was still safe to ask those questions because the trust was transferred from you. So I think that trust has multiple layers to it.

Carl Taylor (54:42):

I just want to like I know I’ve been having conversations over the last probably the last 12 months but maybe even longer with lots of different people. And your some have got high profiles in business and other areas and others are just you know, they don’t have a big profile. But there’s a common thread. That’s true. When I know it’s true of me, there are certain things that we’re happy to put out social media and say, there’s certain things we’re happy to say to our close friends.

But there are certain things that if we said those things to that we say to personal friends publicly, there’s a fear of the canceled culture, victim, environment and culture that exists. That has, if you look at it, it is destroyed some people’s financial businesses, financial worlds, when the council culture, people have jumped on it, and the media has jumped on things. So while I’m with Karen Marie, that I would love to think that we could all just be vulnerable. I think there’s a lot happening on a macro society level, as well as on the back of our brains fear stuff that that’s happening. That makes it hard to do that on large scale, you know, in you know, things you’ll happily talk to a friend about about certain strong opinions. I’m sure we’ve all got them. You got strong opinions, you’ll happily say public privately. But you wouldn’t know maybe Kara Marie wouldn’t. But

Samantha Riley (56:01):

that was a sarcasm, shame.

Carl Taylor (56:03):

I’ll put this to Kiri-Marie, then. Because I’m really genuinely curious. Because I would say that your approach is the minority of the population. So do you ever tell me do you ever? Do you ever have this feeling of oh, should I say that? Should I not say it? And if that comes up? What makes you choose to say it anyway?

Kiri-Marie Moore (56:22):

So, you know, we talked a lot about our story, and I’ve got such a story. And I’ve always gone What part of my story, am I willing, and at this point in my life, I’m willing to share anything and everything I really truly Yeah. So because of that, I’m willing to use that on my platform. But there are moments so like, you know, Sam said, I’m on this speak thing with my, my fitness right now. And I am because, you know, I want my story to stop being from wheelchair to getting on stage, right, like a bodybuilding competition. So it’s a huge part of my journey I’ve and there’s so many other things that I want to stop from that. So I’ve got neural pathway glitches still in my system, I want to fix those the only way I know and we’ve talked about drivers, I need a strong driver to do the hard work for me to fix those.

Part of that is I don’t want to look like a fool. When I stand on that stage. I don’t want to look for you to be and I love mastery of a skill. So for me to be mastery of bodybuilding and being good enough to be on comp. I need to be asymmetrical for that to happen. I kind of glitches in my body, it’s a massive driver for me to to be able to get to that point, whether that’s this year, next year, whatever year it is, it’s my driver to move that forward. So I think there’s a lot around at this moment where I’m willing to share a story.

And I’m willing to share my life as a whole. It was hard for me to go, Oh, am I going to share that story of my bodybuilding journey? Because there’s gonna be judgment when people look at my body. But you know, what part of the reason I want to get on stage is it horrifies me, like, let’s just get real, it totally horrifies me. I get like palpitations even thinking of putting bikinis on and walking across the stage, like, seriously, anyone that knows me, knows that’s not my norm. And it’s not something I want to do. Why would I put myself in that, because I want to be careful at that stage, that I could be judged. And I don’t care. Because I’ve done the best I can be. And I have presented myself the best way that I can be at this time in my life.

And I am happy with where I’m going and what that looks like. I have not always been like that. So for me, that is an important piece of my story. I don’t want to share that journey. Because again, you go back to perfectionism, I’d rather you see me from where I was to. Wow, here I am. I’m awesome. I look great, amazing, right? I don’t want you to see this sweat, the tears, the hardness of it. But I do believe if we had to build trust, for people to realize that it takes all people to do this journey, whatever this journey in life looks like. Then I need to share that journey. And so that drives me to bring this vulnerability out to the open. Do I want to know I fought for quite a while with my team going I know I need to do this piece.

By the way, no one on team were forcing me to do it. I was forcing myself because I bought it out as an accountability to Team day. I know I need to do this case, but I’m not ready for it. And as soon as I’m ready, I can talk about it and I don’t care where you take me in that conversation because I’m ready to bring that out. And so but again, it’s looking at Yeah, You’re failures for me that my learning grounds, right? So if I can help anyone not to have to go through what I’ve gone through, and they can springboard off that to their next, then that’s thing worth going through that journey. And I think those are the things that it’s easy for me to be honest, because I didn’t know that I was going to breathe another breath when I had a hand against my neck. And I was dying. And when I was, you know, had different things happening through life that literally was on life or death. I got through that I’m alive today.

So I just feel this sudden, I don’t know, like, I guess a sense of urgency right now that the world needs more of us to be honest and vulnerable. And lead and role model what that can look like, I don’t have it all right. And that’s why I bring the good, the bad, the ugly, I celebrate when I want to celebrate, but I also a very open when I’m going through tough times or having. And it’s not because I want people to go sorry for you know, but I want them to realize I’m just as human as every other human. I’m just making a decision not to stay at this point.

But to move through it. And this is what I’m learning. Is there anything else I need to think about? Is there someone else I need to. And here’s the other thing that I’ve learned that anytime that you’ve got something, you’re going through this zillions of other people who are going through the same thing, and they just want, you gotta be honest and open and go, Hey, like, I can tell you the messages I get behind the scene. When I put out a post, you know, that I’m going through, they’ll go, I’m so glad you you said this. And because of that, I just want to let you know, I’m going through this, the amount of messages, I get that, and I just go What if we could do that more as a society.

That’s why I’m like, I’m taking ownership of what I can do, I can’t make everyone else do that. I can’t, you know, if the whole world was vulnerable, that would be pretty scary. If we could navigate that, that would be awesome. But I can’t, I can’t control that I can take on next year. But what I can use my life every day, how I use my next breath.

Samantha Riley (01:02:12):

Hmm, I love that. And I think that sharing like that is what makes us relatable. I had a client say to me, once who had worked with another coach who had a very, let’s just say very shiny, personal brand, very Teflon, like nothing ever was wrong, everything was so perfect. And when these clients started working with me, she said I just and this was after a few weeks, she said I just feel like I can actually tell you that there’s things going wrong, and we can work through them when I was working with this other coach because I felt like, you know, I was being judged. And yes, Carlin was a story. But you know, they felt like they were substandard in a way that as soon as that they could say, oh, you know, saying this is really what’s going on, we could actually get to the core of what was happening and fix it. So you know, I think that relatability is, is a huge way to move forward.

Carl Taylor (01:03:07):

I think vulnerability at the end of the day, you’re I think at this dynamic in life relationships, there, there come these times where there’s a vulnerable share, and there’s a leader and then for the leader be able to make the best possible decision for that collective be that the group be that the couple be that whatever it is, if someone’s being silent and not sharing vulnerably, then the leader who’s making the decision can’t make most informed best decision for everyone.

And I think that that’s one of those things that happens is that like, if I relate into relationship, for example, like the idea of the world of polarity, they’ve got this kind of strong, you know, strong centered, what’s what’s called like a lighthouse versus the ocean, you’ve got the lighthouse at Standing Strong lighting the way waves are crashing against an immovable. Right. And then you’ve got this wave of ocean energy that’s just wild and crashing everywhere and going crazy. It’s like it’s the wild ocean, if that can express vulnerably and share what’s going on. The lighthouse can hear that understand that? And what the best path. And I think that that whether that’s coach client relationship, whether that’s husband wife relationship, whether that’s government versus society, relationship, I, I think at the end of the day, we need to be able to be vulnerably sharing, and we need to have devoted leaders, you know, because you can have leaders but the devotion is to actually have the heart the care to listen to that vulnerability and take it on board to be able to make an informed decision.

And one of the things that I think a lot of people get wrong when it comes to sharing vulnerably is that they share vulnerably sometimes through manipulation, not necessarily conscious of it, but they’re sharing because they’re trying to lead to an outcome. They have an outcome they want in mind and they’re using their vulnerable ability to get their wares true via

Carl Taylor (01:05:05):

Well, I haven’t I haven’t, I don’t spend too much time with those people. So I don’t I don’t get those. But you know, there is a difference between someone in particular, that right, got it. But like, there are these people that, you know, if you can share vulnerably, you just truly just share without any attachment to an outcome, you just so if we go for a simple thing, like, I’m feeling sad, this thing happened, I feel really sad, that’s very different to I’m feeling really sad, you shouldn’t do that.

Or you know, even not even saying you shouldn’t do that, but covertly kind of hoping that when I share this, they’re going to make a different decision, you might share very vulnerably and openly, and they may still make a decision you don’t like. But the difference is, if you’ve been able to open genuinely, here’s how I feel. And that person can just go Alright, take it on board. And then they make what they believe is the best decision and they might get it wrong. You know, society. But I don’t know, that just came up again, there’s been some really interesting coming out of my mouth in this podcast that all of a sudden I get to a point. I’m not sure where I’m going with this. But it came out it was needed. And I’m done.

Samantha Riley (01:06:05):

I love it. I love it. Obviously, we do need to wrap up, because all three of us I know. Whilst we could talk forever, we’re also all very busy. And also, people don’t want to hear us rabbiting on for hours on end. They probably do. But, of course, Marie said before, like we’re the big names

Kiri-Marie Moore (01:06:29):

on that podcast, some context so that they’re

Samantha Riley (01:06:33):

okay, I probably should. I was mentioning to Carrie Marie and Carl, like I was thinking about what do I want to do for my 500th episode? And, and, you know, I was looking to see what other podcasters do and and most people have, you know, a big name, someone that, you know, the Tony Robbins or the you know, the Brene Brown or whoever it is not that I could get either of these people right today.

But you know, like that big name and Carrie Murray was like, But hang on a minute, stop, stop. We are the big names. That Oh, I love it. So where I was going as we do need to wrap it up? I would love to know from both of you. And I don’t mind who wants to go first? What do you see in the business world right now that we need to change? And we’ve talked about being vulnerable and authentic. But what is something that you’re seeing out there right now, whether it’s been around for a while, or something that’s new on the scene that you think that really needs to change for business to move forward? Not just for ourselves? Maybe it could be just for ourselves? Or it could be business in general?

Carl Taylor (01:07:41):

Oh, happy for Kara Marie to go first. Why Deep Dive.

Kiri-Marie Moore (01:07:47):

Of course. So for me, I would say going back to the ecosystem thing. One of the powers of the ecosystem building out a sustainable ecosystem is that we are forever in a place that in the future, like if you look future forward, changes is inevitable. We have to be agile right now. And so again, looking at patterns and things like that we cannot build on a linear company and linear business or linear, we do this, this is how we do it, we have to be able to have flexibility within what we do to be go through Pathways.

That doesn’t mean that we change our vision, it doesn’t mean that we change the decisions that we’re making at the table. It just means that we have different ways in which we can do something. And I think that the worst thing any entrepreneur could do right now is get so set in their way that they become the Kodak moment. And what I mean by that is Kodak had warning that things were changing that people weren’t just going to go away and get their photos done. And you know, put the film in and come out with these beautiful photos, which was kind of cool at the time.

For all of those in the generation that have no idea what I’m talking about. I knew all about dark rooms and had there and then actually, my sister was into it. It was fascinating to watch it. But Kodak thought they were the thing they had, you know, all the latest cameras, whatever. And times changed. We are moving in a generation that times are changing so fast. And if you’re not careful, it can be very chaotic and very stressful.

And what I love about an ecosystem is that every pathway within that ecosystem has flow. And I think, you know, you look at mental health, you look at all the bigger issues that are happening right now. There is a lot of stress happening chaos, and that is because we’re still trying to fit into the linear, the old school, the old approaches that are just not serving us in the generation that we’re living in right now. So, for me, it’s this real awareness of Amazon This, how are you thinking that is holding you back into the old approach that you actually need to now think of the new approach?

And then I go, not only that is I have you got systems processes that are stuck in the old approach that are not being beneficial with the moving capacity do you need? What is the agility that you need? Who do you need on board for that, and maybe you’ve taken thinking through so many people that is that has worked in, they’ve been phenomenal, maybe they’ve been mentors, maybe coaches, whatever it is in your world, but they’re not going to take you to the next piece. And I think that one of the things if we go back to ADHD, if we go back to all the little random things that can often be the things that people have found have held them that I think that part of the fact that we can have different distinctions at the table, we need that now.

Because we need to think differently. We need to be able to have different conversations. And we need to innovate solutions that are going to be flexible. Like I said earlier, when I started, I’m on the road right now. So I need to be able to go, what flexibility do I need to be able to do the work that I need to do yet the lifestyle that I need? And I think, you know, we need to start thinking about building, you know, when we talk about empires, build our lifestyle and build something that is around what you are who you are, rather than, hey, I’m building a business, a company to just put some more cash in so that I can get stressed. And go home, take that stress home, and rinse and repeat tomorrow. And then wonder when I look back at life I wish I could have should have would have, right? Yes, I just don’t, I don’t think we’ve got time for that now.

And whether people like it or not, we need to engage that the future is forever changing. And uncertainty is a certainty in our world. So how are you going to take that on? What’s it going to look like? And what tools and resources do you have in your back pocket? To be able to not not be scared of it, but to embrace it and go bring it on? Yeah, how can bring it to you? Like,

Carl Taylor (01:12:15):

I would echo a fair bit of that actually, like I agree we’re in we’re in a phase right now, with artificial intelligence in particular, it’s exploded in recent time. And even before that was happening, we’re already starting to see other technological shifts and societal shifts. If we’d macro out of the business, well, we’ve got this really interesting thing happening in society of we won’t go too deep on this, but you know, we’ve got people who are not sure what gender they are, we’ve got all these different conversations happening, that I think there’s a lot of people who are lost going, I don’t know who I am. I can speak for men, not for all men, obviously.

But very, you know, there’s a lot of conversation or what is it to be a man in today’s world, there’s, you know, toxic masculinity talked about. So there’s all these these stuff happening in the broader society about what you should be shouldn’t be, right, who you should be who you shouldn’t be what’s okay, what’s not okay. And everyone should be allowed to have their thing, except what I’ve noticed the society conversation is is that there was a saying you, do you? And everyone’s like, yep, you do you until all of a sudden you doing you makes me feel uncomfortable, then it’s not okay for you to do you kind of think that’s really the true conversation.

Yeah. So all of that is the macro that’s happening. And if we come back as business owners, were trying to mold our businesses to fit into a society that is rapidly changing technologically, whatever the word I’m culturally, I guess, is the word I’m looking for. Like, all these shifts are happening, you your employees are shifting your customers, you consumers are shifting what they want, what they don’t want, what they expect, it’s all getting faster, everyone wants the Big Easy button, they just want to push a big easy and get the result.

And so echoing what Carrie was saying is we can’t sit on our laurels and go, I’m going to just keep doing what I always did. I also want to say, though, that I don’t think it serves us to sit there stressing about it. And going, I need to have to action on it right now. Like I’m going to be put out of business. Because that same energy, that nervous energy is not going to serve you in business, either. You’re not going to make the best decisions. So as business owners the thing that you’ve most need right now, I don’t completely remember what the question was Sam.

But if I think about what I would want someone to hear is learn to be able to detach from that emotion, feeling emotions, that’s fine. I get nervous. My whole business is deeply at risk to where AI is going. And there are times that I get nervous. And there are times that I’m going to bed and my brain still ticking like I’m not we’re human, as we’ve mentioned on this, it’s not like we’re just perfect at this stuff. But I’m able to catch myself and go okay, I’m about to go to bed right now. Can I do anything about this right now? Is these thoughts useful? Yeah. So I’ll even say, brain you you’re welcome to continue thinking about this mind.

But I’m going to sleep right now. You can tell me what you’ve thought about in the morning in the morning. Yeah, I don’t need to know about it right now leave it for now. And just being able to have those kind of internal conversations I think sets you up to go, okay? Things are changing. I don’t need to be stressed about it. And it goes to that part of business owners need to know, you got why you’re in business? Are you in business, as Sam was saying, to make money?

Because money is not the root of all evil money is not bad. But I would say if you’re in it to make money, ask yourself the deeper question, what is the use of that money? Because money just sitting in a bank account, or piling up in cash is useless, there’s got to be a purpose for money. Money is a tool with a purpose. So get clear on your purpose. If you know what the purpose is, it’s okay to have a business does its sole purpose is to make money to fund whatever the other purpose, it’s like, that’s okay. Be honest with yourself. Know that because that will inform the decisions you make in business. Likewise, if you’re following other gurus, and you’re copying their business model, and you haven’t thought, Well, does this match what I want in life, like I’m a big proponent of building a business that can work without you. Like, that is my thing.

I love telling people build a business that doesn’t require you. There are a lot of people, though, that if they built a business that worked without them, they would probably be miserable. Because they’re missing the well. What would they do after? What’s their purpose? Yeah, yeah. So know who you’re following know what you want. And just, if you’re honest with yourself, like, don’t try to live up to other people’s standards live up to your standard of success. And don’t get too stressed.

Because life is going to unfold. However, it’s going to unfold. And I have I hold the story. I didn’t always hold this story. But ever since 2019, I’ve held a story, that life is happening exactly as it should. And therefore, I can control certain elements and decisions in my life. But I believe that it’s on a path that in the end is all going to be okay. And there’s a saying it’s all going to be okay, in the end. And if it’s not, okay, it’s not the end. So just sit in that. Sam, what would you say?

Samantha Riley (01:16:57):

So, I guess it’s a little bit of what you’ve said, and also something that’s completely the opposite love in that AI is happening. You know, it is changing our life, where it’s never gonna go back to what it was, it has changed forever, and it’s happening really fast. But I actually believe that one of the biggest opportunities that we have right now is going super back old school, and creating those relationships again, you know, and really, that I believe that that’s what’s going to make us stand out in business is to, you know, create and cultivate communities create safe spaces for people to be more creative, really giving people fantastic experiences, because it’s the experiences in life that are going to become valuable. Because we can’t recreate those, you know, with a piece of machinery in the same way, we’re not going to have a deep relationship with a robot. So I believe that it’s going back old school and really fostering deep relationships.

Carl Taylor (01:18:00):

I love that Oh, only thing I will challenge on that is there are people locked in Japan in particular for a long time that had virtual girlfriends long before AI could do it.

Samantha Riley (01:18:10):

As I said it, in my head. I was like, I know there’s people that are having relationships

Carl Taylor (01:18:17):

with robots.

Samantha Riley (01:18:20):

love about these conversations is that we’re all deep and we all went there. It’s been so awesome to hang out with you both today, especially celebrate 500 episodes of the podcast. Congratulations. Thank you so much. I’m super proud that we’ve got there considering that I had a podcast that had over 100 episodes before, you know, like I’ve racked up nearly 1000 episodes with different podcasts. So I’m super proud to be here. But you’re both podcasters as well. So Carrie Marie, can you share your podcasts and how people can stay connected with you? And you know, keep going on with this conversation and and creating new ecosystems?

Kiri-Marie Moore (01:19:00):

Yeah, so So I have two podcasts, the decision table podcast and then global human intelligence podcast so but you know, people want to get to know me more. Just join the 1% movement.com is the place to go.

Samantha Riley (01:19:18):

Perfect. And Carl? Yeah,

Carl Taylor (01:19:21):

yeah, you’ll find my there’s a few podcasts out there that got my name on one that you might find interesting but I don’t contribute to any more it’s called Future of Humanity. That’s worth a listen. I interviewed a bunch of people but I don’t continue to add to that anymore. The one you’ll find me on his entrepreneurs of rising that’s rising not sure or whatever podcast platform you’re on you find it there. If you want to connect with me more personally, I’m on all the social profile platforms, but I’m a who not how kind of guy the only one you actually get me is at Facebook. So you can find me on Facebook. It’s I think it’s called detailer is my username.

Samantha Riley (01:19:54):

Love it. Guys. Thanks so much for hanging out with me and having this fun conversation. Oh, you know, it was insightful and it was fun and there was lots of laughs and lots of deep moments. So thanks so much for, for having this conversation with us today. Thank you.

Thanks for joining me for this episode of the Influence By design Podcast. If you want more head over to influencebydesignpodcast.com for the show notes and links to today’s gifts and sponsors. And if you’re looking to connect with other experts who are growing and scaling their business to join us in the coaches, thought leaders and changemakers community on Facebook, the links are waiting for you over at influencebydesign podcast.com

TRANSCRIPTION (AI Generated)

Samantha Riley Intro 00:17:

Welcome to the Influence By Design Podcast. I’m Samantha Riley, authority positioning strategist for coaches and experts. If you’re ready to build a business that gives you more than just a caffeine addiction, and you dream of making more money, having more time, and having the freedom to be living your best life, then you’re in the right place, it’s time to level up.

Welcome to today’s episode of Influence By Design, I’m your host Samantha Riley.

Samantha Riley (43:15):

Sherrie, it’s been an absolute pleasure chatting with you today. Thanks so much for reaching out and having this conversation and bringing this topic to our listeners. It’s been amazing. Such a great chat. Thank you so much then.

Thanks for joining me for this episode of the Influence By Design podcast. If you want more head over to influencebydesignpodcast.com for the show notes and links to today’s gifts and sponsors. And if you’re looking to connect with other experts who are growing and scaling their business to join us in the coaches, thought leaders, and changemakers community on Facebook, the links are waiting for you over at influencebydesignpodcast.com

500: Conversation On The Couch – A Candid Conversation About Our Life As Entrepreneurs with Kiri-Maree Moore and Carl Taylor

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