Are you shy or introverted but still want to crush your next networking event?
If the thought of networking events with typical sales pitches and awkward small talk drains your energy and makes you cringe, this episode is your new secret weapon.
Join Samantha as she chats with the amazing Tish Times, an expert in authentic networking, to help you connect with others without feeling drained or losing your authenticity.
Tish breaks down how you can build meaningful connections that naturally lead to sales without the uncomfortable pressure. And she also shares her easy-to-follow strategies for preparing before an event, navigating conversations during it, and following up afterward to turn connections into opportunities.
Whether you’re an introvert dreading your next networking event or an extrovert who’s shy in new settings, this episode will change the way you think about connecting with others. You’ll learn how to stand out with simple, unexpected questions, transition seamlessly from small talk to sales talk, and, most importantly crush your next networking event.
IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL DISCOVER:
- Tish’s journey from the staffing world to authentic sales coaching (00:44)
- The difference between being shy and being introverted (05:52)
- A practical strategy for warming up your networking game before you even step into the room (11:01)
- Approaching a networking event with a clear purpose and plan (14:01)
- How to stand out in networking events and shift conversations from surface-level to deeply memorable (18:03)
- The follow-up process that turns conversations into clients (23:42)
- Balancing genuine care with the need to close sales (30:06)
QUOTES
“Give yourself permission to do it in a way that’s on your own terms but still works for you and for your business, because otherwise, you’ll avoid potentially amazing, possible clients because you don’t have a plan or the tools to be able to do this effectively.” – Tish Times
“In this hyper-connected world, I think people crave to be seen and heard right now more than any other time.” – Samantha Riley
“The thing that I’ve learned over all of these years is that if I don’t really care about the people that I’m engaging, I have no business being in business. I have no business doing this.” – Tish Times
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Networking Is NOT a One Night Stand by Tish Times
National Association of Women Business Owners
Tish’ freebie: The Networking Handbook
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ABOUT TISH TIMES
Tish Times, the visionary behind the Tish Times Sales Agency, is a renowned expert in driving remarkable sales conversions and empowering sales teams to thrive. With almost 15 years of experience, Tish has revolutionized businesses and entrepreneurs, enabling them to establish dynamic revenue-generating connections, fill events, and accelerate program enrollments. With an innate ability to streamline sales cycles and facilitate seamless closures, Tish and her exceptional team deliver an unparalleled “done-with-you” sales solution that catapults company revenue to unprecedented heights.
Tish’s exceptional skill set extends to lead generation, ensuring a robust pipeline and an impressive conversion rate of prospects into loyal clients. Her invaluable insights have been documented in her highly acclaimed works, such as “Networking is Not a One-Night Stand”, “The Unstoppable Confidence Networking Playbook”, and the game-changing “Networking and Sales Planner”. As the founder of Profit Makers University, Tish runs a prestigious business school that imparts a methodical, genuine, and results-driven approach to networking and sales, ultimately translating to lucrative bottom-line outcomes.
WHERE TO TISH TIMES
- Website: https://www.tishtimes.com/
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tishtimes/
- Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/CoachTishTimes
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tishtimes
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tishtimes/
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@tishtimes
CONNECT WITH SAMANTHA RILEY
Facebook: Samantha Riley
Instagram: @thesamriley
LinkedIn: Samantha Riley
Twitter: @thesamriley
TRANSCRIPTION
Samantha Riley 0:02
I’m really looking forward to today’s conversation. We’re going to talk about networking as the introduction to your sales process. So if you don’t love the spammy, sleazy, old school sales tactics, if you don’t like going to networking events with no strategy that, you know, goes nowhere, then this is a conversation for you. And I have Tish Times with me today, who’s going to spill the tea on how to really have awesome sales conversations and really build deep conversations with people rather than be spammy. So Tish, welcome to the show.
Tish Times 0:38
Thank you so much for having me. It’s my pleasure to be here.
Samantha Riley 0:44
I’m very excited to have you. We’ve got a very good mutual friend, Melanie Benson, that has been saying for ages, you must get Tish on your show. So I’m very much looking forward to this conversation. Before we jump in, I’d love you to give some context. What is it that you do and how did you get here, because when people understand that, I think it’s easier to understand and get involved in that story and go, Oh, yeah, I get this. This is me.
Tish Times 1:07
Yeah. So thank you for asking, first off, because not everybody asked me that question. So long story, really short, I’ve been in business for myself for many, many years, over 20 years. And when I, when I left the staffing world, which is where I got my start, I literally, you know, right, in college I went into the world of staffing, and when I left working for a fairly large staffing company, I started my own and 2008 when here in the US, the market really crashed. I decided I was going to do something for myself, but not the same thing. So I really went into career coaching, but I didn’t want to do it the way I saw everyone else doing it. I created these events, these networking events, that were designed to bring job seekers and hiring managers in the same room. It was really like a job fair on steroids, and it became very successful very quickly, so much that a lot of other business owners started taking notice and asking me, how did you grow this so quickly? How are you selling these events out all the time? How are you converting these new clients? And we’re just kind of watching you grow. And before I knew it, it was like I was having more business owners at my job seeking events than I was having job seekers. I begin to have people asking me, Can you teach me how you’re doing this? Teach me how really to sell, teach me how to utilise networking the way that you’re teaching other people how to do it. And that was really the birth of this organisation. I’ve been in business for about 14 years with this company, and it’s morphed from a career coaching, you know, job fair, kind of networking event organisation, to where now I am teaching people to not only sell really effectively, but I really specialise in helping people, especially those who are introverted, a little bit shy, don’t really know how to get in front of the proper, you know, prospective clients, how to use networking to really, you know, enter that sales process in a way that feels very authentic, doesn’t feel weird or icky or slimy to them or to the person that they’re having the conversation with. That’s where it all started, and it’s what we really enjoy doing here.
Samantha Riley 3:23
I love it, and I love hearing stories of entrepreneurs who follow the little secret clues where they’re really listening to what the market wants, because as entrepreneurs, that’s what we’re here to do. We’re here to solve problems. So I love that you followed that, and I guess just allowed the company to change as it needed to. I love that. So introverts, introverts generally, will say, I hate networking. But at the same time, they will say things like, I just want to have a deep conversation, which is, what are sales conversations all about. Yet in the same breath, they will also say, I hate sales. So what you know, I love what you’re saying here. Can you expand on this a little bit? Because I’m sure all of those things that I just said, you went, yep, tick, yep, tick, yep, tick.
Tish Times 4:14
So true. And not only am I like ticking it, I literally have experienced it because of what I do, Samantha, people assume that I’m extroverted and I’m very outgoing, and I love doing all these things all the time, and to be honest with you, I’m the biggest introvert, and I struggled with this so much at the, you know, the early on part of my career. This is why it’s so important to me. And you’re right. It’s like they don’t want to have the small talk. They don’t want to have those weird, icky, you know, icebreaker kind of conversations. They want to have those deeper connections. And that’s what I want them to do. That’s what I believe is what really sets us apart when we’re in business for ourselves. But we have that, you know, introvertedness, or even, like I said, shy and introvertedness is not the same, but it kind of these things work really well for both of those types of individuals, because if I give them some tools and some techniques so that they can not only enter a conversation in a way that feels really, really authentic to them, feels like they’re standing in the line at Target, you know, talking to someone in their comfort zone, opposed to feeling like I have to walk up to this complete stranger and try to sell them something. It’s a mindset, right? It really is a mindset shift. And if they will approach it like I’m sitting beside someone in the stands at the soccer game with my, you know, watching my kid play, opposed to I have to be perfect. I have to be ready to sell, I have to make sure that if I say this right, they’re going to say yes to me. If we take all of that off of the table, out of the equation, it changes the way that we approach the sales conversation.
Samantha Riley 5:52
I want to tap into that, but before I do, you said that shy and introverted aren’t the same thing. Can you, what is the difference?
Tish Times 6:01
Yeah, the person who’s shy is just less likely to make the approach. For many of those who are shy, they get very nervous when they have to have a conversation with, not only a stranger, but especially a stranger. They feel like they have to frequently get the words perfect in order to be successful. They’re probably going to be less likely to approach and even if the person starts the conversation, even entering that conversation that they didn’t have to start on their own, still feels very uncomfortable for them. Whereas an introvert like myself, for instance, I’m comfortable in a conversation, I just get very drained by having lots of conversations. And so I always tell my husband I’ve been peopled out. I don’t need to people anymore. I gotta go into my room. And I love the way that we operate, because he has his office on the other side of the house. I have my office literally out in my backyard, which is where I am right now. I can say I gotta go, you know, be by myself for a little while. I’ll see you on after a while. So, yeah, that introverted person, they can, they can function in that environment from the most part, they just get overwhelmed many times with having those conversations, especially if it’s multiples, and not having a plan. And that’s the thing that, you know, I really want them to have, is a plan, so that they can shine when they’re in the room or on the screen, like we are right now. But then also know how do I protect my energy? How do I recoup my energy and be prepared for the next time also?
Samantha Riley 7:33
That’s really interesting, the way that you’ve explained that, because I haven’t heard it explained that way before, and you’ve just, I’ve just had a million light bulbs go off in my head because I’m extroverted. If I’m in a room with people, I come home and I’m like, my husband is introverted, and he’s just like, Oh my God, you’re exhausting me. However, however, he’s just like, you just keep talking. I’m just going to sit here and listen. But what you just helped me … sorry.
Tish Times 8:08
Tell you real quick, you know, because I host events, right? I host these classes. And I had a dear friend who came to the class because she wanted to, she needed to. She owns a business. And then after the event, she tells me, she goes, Look let’s have lunch. I want to break down all the things you said. And I looked at her, I said, No, ma’am, no, thank you. I’m going home. I will call you tomorrow, but I can’t.
Samantha Riley 8:29
I was going to say another day, the peopling is done. I love it, but where the biggest light bulb was for me is that I am an extrovert, but I’m very shy. I actually hate going to networking events. If I know the people in the room, no worries. I will walk in and it’s like I’m here. I will do my thing. But if I’m walking into a room where I don’t know anyone, well, A, it’s very difficult to get me in that room in the first place, but B, I’d probably spend the first, the whole day feeling sick about the impending being in the room. So, and I’d never realised this before because, and in actual fact, because everyone knows I’m an extrovert, I was always like, What is wrong with me? But I’ve just realised that is it, and it’s not that I’m introverted at all because I’m not but I am shy.
Tish Times 9:24
Isn’t that interesting? I mean, I think, as a kid, I definitely had a lot more shyness. I’m not as shy anymore. I think I always say I’m a high performing introvert. I’ve kind of trained myself how to engage people differently. But Samantha, when I have to go to an event, I literally like, I’m very athletic or competitive. Really, I’m very competitive, so I literally have to gamify it. I’m like, Okay, if you talk to three people and have three really deep conversations, then you can go do these, you know, I literally have to talk myself into that room in many cases, because I’ve gone to conferences where I’ve spent 1000s of dollars and spent the majority of the time in my hotel room, no joke, because I’m just like, oh, I can’t, I can’t do it, yeah. And I’m just like, maybe there for a little while, and then I find myself, I don’t do this anymore, you know, but there was a time where I would make an excuse to get away, and I’m like, I gotta go to the bathroom. Well, that bathroom was, like, 24 hours long because I never went back, make myself do, and I didn’t see it as you know, the introvertedness or the shyness. I had to learn that for myself as well and not beat myself up about it, because for a long time, I felt like I just can’t do this. Now I just learn I have to do it differently, and I have to do it in a way that works for me, and I give myself full permission, and I, you know, I hope that people that are listening will understand, give yourself permission to do it in a way that’s on your own terms, but still works for you and for your business, because otherwise you’ll avoid potentially amazing, possible clients, because you don’t have a plan or the tools to be able to do this effectively.
Samantha Riley 11:01
I love this. Now, when I feel like so many people don’t like networking, because there’s this pressure of, I’m going there to make a sale, which, I’m not a networking expert, but I’m always like, you cannot go with that, with that attitude, because everyone’s there with that attitude. We’re like, we’re there to open up conversations. You’ve got this beautiful blend with, how do we network and then bring it through to a sales conversation? Can you take us through, like, what the first step is? And I’m guessing there’s some sort of mindset here right at the beginning.
Tish Times 11:39
Yeah, for sure. I mean, I teach a method. It’s again, because I’m also athletic. I love sports, and so I literally teach a pre-game, a game, and a post game, you know, method that enables you to get prepared. So one of the things I like to do is break the ice before you enter the room. And that might mean, you know, Samantha, I’ve been following it. For instance, I’ve been following you online for a long time. We’ve been Facebook friends, or we’ve been following each other on LinkedIn for a long time. I heard that you’re going to be in that event. I don’t know anybody there, when I get there, can we possibly sit together? Or can you introduce me to someone? So it’s like creating a little bit of an expectation that someone knows you’re going to be there, you’re kind of almost, you know, making a friend before you get into the room. That helps to take a little bit of that pressure off of yourself. Number one, first, the first in and then my whole goal is, it’s like, I plan, what is the purpose of me going there? It is to build relationships that I hope will turn into real relationships, not just those phoney, fake you know, hi, I met you. I gave you my business card, but a real relationship. So it’s like, if I can sit with you, we can get to know each other a little bit more. My next move is going to be, you know, let’s grab lunch. Let’s have a coffee conversation. If we don’t live in the same city, let’s jump on Zoom and just get better acquainted. So my next move never is let me make you an offer, and then if we are, if we’re going into the room, or if we’re going into a networking event with that in mind, the likelihood is we’re going to always hate networking, because it’s never a very seldom, I won’t say never, but very seldom will it result in an instant sale. Right? Now, I’ve been in the room where I’ve sat at a table and someone goes, How do I work with you? You know, sign me up. I’ve had that happen before, but that’s happened maybe twice in the last 14 years. You know what I mean, it doesn’t, it doesn’t happen often, nor should we expect it. Because if I was going to be a friend to you, and I’ll even do another because, you know, I, you know, my book, Networking Is Not a One Night Stand, if I were frantically pursuing someone, who would want to feel, I would say most people would not want to feel proposed or propositioned in the initial conversation, right? You want to feel like someone cares about you. They want to get to know you better. And if we come in with that in mind, then it just shifts. It takes all the pressure off the table. Now you’re not going in thinking I gotta make a sale, otherwise, I’m not successful in this event.
Samantha Riley 14:01
Yeah, totally. So you’re talking about getting to know people or connecting with them before you go to the event. You also were saying that we’re using this networking to bring people through the sales process. What I want to know is, are we doing that for people who we think are going to be prospects? Or are we doing this with everyone because we don’t know where the conversation is going to go, we don’t know what opportunities are going to land in our lap.
Tish Times 14:29
That’s a really great question. So one of the things that I love to do is, you know, to have a few questions in mind at the front end. Because what it does, having the right questions in mind lets me know who are the people that we’re just going to be girlfriends, we’re never going to do business together, and I know that I’m almost doing a little bit of sorting, like this is someone that we’re going to hang out or maybe I can introduce to some other people that might need what they have to offer. But this person is definitely someone who I can serve well, and I want to get to know better. So the questions that you asked, Samantha, are the ones that kind of make you, you know, determine whether or not you’re taking them in a direction where I want to get to know them for one purpose, or I want to get to know them for a different purpose. And in some cases, I don’t want to get to know them. You’re not the kind of person I want to spend time with. I’ve had those too, I’m like, yeah, thank you. It was great to meet you.
Samantha Riley 15:24
Nice to meet you. Have a lovely life.
Tish Times 15:27
Exactly. So, yeah, I’m not going to spend all of my time meeting everyone in the room, but that pre-work that I alluded to earlier, it kind of gives you a little bit of an indication as to who you need to spend more time getting to know opposed to maybe not. So I’m, I’m personally not going to, and this is literally something that happened. I’m not going to spend, you know, 10, 15, 20 minutes having a conversation with, for instance, a medical sales device person, they sell to big organisations. I’m never going to buy anything from them. They’re not buying what I have to offer necessarily, you know? So it’s like, I have a general idea if, in fact, this is someone that I can help. But then again, I meet people occasionally. I’m like, I’ll never be able to help them, but I like them. I want to just hang out with them. So that’ll make the difference, I think.
Samantha Riley 16:13
Yeah, so right at the beginning, once you’ve connected with these people, you sort of put them in a bucket of where you think they may fall. Does that alter how you approach the networking event itself? Once you actually turn up in person?
Tish Times 16:35
It definitely can. It means that I always say intentionality is really the name of the game. So every now and then, I’m going to an event. Sometimes when I’m travelling, I’m going to an event. I have no idea who’s going to be there. There’s just no roster. There’s no way, I’m approaching it as a very exploratory type of an opportunity. I am meeting lots of people. I make, I’m asking the right questions to determine kind of where they, where they fall. Whereas, if I know, and I’m going to, let’s just say, for instance, a conference like, there’s an organisation that I used to be a member of, you know what? There’s a member, an organisation that I’m on the board for right now. It’s called NAWBO, National Association of Women Business Owners. I have access to that roster. I have access to those individuals where I know people who can tell me, hey, you need to meet XYZ people while you’re in this room, or I want to make these introductions. So I’m approaching it from a very intentional standpoint. It’s not to say I don’t want to make friends, but I know for certain that there’s specific people I need to meet. So if you’re asking me, does it approach the way that I enter the room, yeah, it definitely does. But I think at the end of the day, we should be going with, okay, how can I contribute to a conversation meaningfully? How can I be of service even if I’m in the room? I want people to walk away from my table, even if I’m never going to be able to help them with something that’s going to be able to, you know, make them better for having attended that event and having said at my table or having had a conversation, right?
Samantha Riley 18:03
Yeah, I love that. You know, you hear often people saying, oh my gosh, this person was so interesting. Oh, what do you know about them? Nothing. They asked all about me. Like you hear that all the time. So knowing that, what tips can you give for walking into these networking events, because it’s so much easier. I feel sometimes it’s easier to connect with someone over a keyboard. And you know, if you’re having an off day, or you’re feeling a little bit shy or a bit introverted, it can be difficult to open up that conversation. What tips do you have around opening those conversations in person?
Tish Times 18:41
Yeah. So I know, I know, I’m getting ahead of myself, but I know we have a freebie we’re going to be giving. There’s some conversation starters, some questions that you might want to consider asking in that booklet that we’re going to be giving away. It’s just getting prepared, really being prepared, because if everyone in the room is saying a version of the same exact question, guess how you stand out? By asking a different question, right? Everyone in the room is saying, so what do you do? So, what do you do? What kind of business do you have? You know. Why not say something that’s a little bit more meaningful, something that causes you to stand out? There’s a phrase that I use. It’s called Sue, S, U, E, simple, unexpected, simple, unique and unexpected. So it’s like, I want someone to go, huh? I never thought about that. No one has ever asked me that before. If I can get them to lean in a little bit, then I know I have their full attention. And I’ve stood out from all of the other people in the room who, again, are asking a version of the same exact question over and over again. So you want to be remembered, even if you, even if someone walks away and go, I don’t remember all about their business, but they made me feel seen. They made me feel like I was heard. That’s the thing, that’s the thing that when I call them later, after we’ve had that kind of conversation, they’re going to take my call, because they’re going to remember that I made them important. I wanted to learn about them. I didn’t come out with my own commercial, like I do this, and I can do this, and I can copy with it. No one wants that anymore. It’s so played out. So it’s like, come to that conversation with service in mind. That’s what’s the game changer for us in the world of business, you know, we’re all in sales, whether we want to call ourselves that or not, but at the end of the day, the person who’s going to really close that sale is the person who made that person not only feel like I can help them, I can serve you well, but I also understand your problem, because I took the time to understand what it is that you were saying, opposed to just talking about myself.
Samantha Riley 20:46
Yeah, in this hyper connected world, I think people crave to be seen and heard right now more than any other time. You know when I think back to the 80s, like when we actually didn’t have social media, and we used to pick up the phone and drag it into the closet to be talking to our friends. It was a different world. And right now, people want that connection again, and if we can stand out with that, that’s really great. Although, what came to mind, as you were saying this is, I remember going to a networking event with my hubby, was probably about 10 years ago, and someone did ask something a bit unexpected, but it was something really deep, and we’d never met this person before, and he just threw this question at my hubby, and the look on his face was like, as if I’m going to just deep dive into this conversation with you. And we actually both walked away going, Whoa. That was weird. So I think there’s a time and a place for the depth.
Tish Times 21:46
Absolutely. No doubt. Yeah, and I mean, we still want to maintain that professionalism, right? We want to maintain that, that comfort level. I’m not going to ask a stranger like, can I borrow a kidney? You know what I mean, it’s like, you gotta be, you have to be realistic in what to expect. But you know, even if, instead of saying, say, what do you do, you know, why not ask something like, you know, what makes you most happy or what really turns you on or excites you about what you do? Same question. It’s just the way that it’s like, Oh, my God, I love what I do because, you know, and they, they will, you’ll see their face light up, because now they’re talking about themselves, but they’re not just saying, Yeah, I own this business, and we do this, you know, it’s a different way of saying it, right?
Samantha Riley 22:32
Yeah, and bringing energy into a conversation, and energy is everything, like, even, even though you weren’t in front of someone right then the energy between you saying, oh, like, what excites you about what you do? It was completely, like, different visual, completely different feeling. And to get people into that all of a sudden, you get someone out of their head and, like, really into their heart.
Tish Times 22:56
That’s right there, exactly, exactly, and I think it’s really interesting. I’m so glad that you said that, because, you know, when we talk about that simple, unexpected, simple, unique, unique, it’s like, we want to make sure that it takes them into that place of their passion, into that place where now again, they’re leaning in, they’re excited, they’re not looking at their clock, going, Okay, who’s next? Who do I talk to next? You get them to the place that they’re remembering why they’re excited about it. And so again, it’s going to cause them to not only remember you, but they’re going to want to have another conversation with you. And then eventually you will have a deeper conversation. It’s not for the room. Those are not that’s not the time to dive in super deep.
Samantha Riley 23:42
Yeah, love it. Love it. Love it. Alright, so we’ve talked about, like, the pre-game. We’ve talked about the game a little bit. Can you talk us through the post game? Because I think it’s really important to take these conversations into this sales process, because we’re business owners, after all, we need to make money.
Tish Times 23:58
No doubt about it, you know. And it’s so interesting. It just, it seems such a no brainer, like, even when you said that we gotta take him into the post event process. But so many people miss that. Many times they get so excited. They meet people. It’s funny, because, many people didn’t have business cards for such a long time after the 2020 escapade, right? But I’m like, they take these cards and they leave them on their desk. You know, especially if you go to an event at the end of the week, and you know, life begins to happen. If you don’t have a process in place, it’ll be two weeks, three weeks down the road before you think about it again. And now you feel like it’s too late, and then you just never do it altogether. So having a process in place. The thing that I recommend Samantha for people to do immediately when they schedule the event, right before you even go to the event, it’s like, put two to three hours on your calendar for the day after the event, so you already have booked time for follow up. Number one. Number two is having some. Some automations in place doesn’t, doesn’t replace the voice connection and you making the actual phone call or sending out a personal email. But having a few automations in place will make sure that you don’t forget. So that might mean being able to quickly, and I say, snap by taking a picture of it with your phone that enters into a CRM, if you are able to, if you have a CRM that has that capacity, so that they at least get the it was great to meet you kind of message that you would have pre programmed into your computer or into your your CRM. And so once that’s that card gets entered in, it gets tagged very easily. Now you know that the very least they got that first touch from you, but if you have it on your calendar for that following day, then you’re going to spend the time and remind them, hey, Samantha, it was so great to meet you. Thanks for telling me a little bit about that. You know, I love to get to know you a little bit better and then having that deeper conversation. But if it’s not planned, it just won’t happen. So automation and then pre-planning makes the follow up process that much more, it makes it easier for you to do and to understand that it’s, it may not be as easy as, you know ,when you’re in the room, everybody’s in the moment, everybody’s excited, but the next day, they’re busy, they’re back in their office. They may have 10 fires going on. So you have to also remember that if you don’t have a follow up process, that’s at least 13 steps deep, you’re, you know, if they’re not 13, yeah, if they’re not answering right away, it’s not necessarily because they don’t, they didn’t love you when they were talking to you. It’s again that they’re busy. You’re not necessarily at the forefront of their mind in that moment. If they don’t absolutely need what you have to offer in that moment, you have to put yourself at the forefront of their mind. So it’s not call them 13 times. It’s having these multi pronged, you know, ways of reaching them. So it might be an article, you know, when you mention, you know, your daughter played soccer. I thought about this, and I wanted to share it with you. I thought you might find it interesting. Blah, blah, you know, I might send them an email, I might invite them to an event that I’m hosting. So it’s all of these various different ways of staying in touch, but you have to remain in touch, because the likelihood is they may not even see it, even though it’s coming into their inbox, coming across their desk, they may not even see it the first three to five times. So that consistency is so important.
Samantha Riley 27:23
I remember back, and I’m talking way back. I really love getting to know my clients and my customers. I like to know what their partner’s name is, their kids’ names, their dog’s names, like I want to really get to know them. And I remember this one day, a customer had been telling me about her dog, and had just like randomly said the name of the dog in a conversation. And a few days later, I saw, and I can’t remember, because it was a while ago, but I saw something that related to the conversation we were having about her dog, and I sent her a message that said, Oh, I remember about, you know, Kelsey, the dog, named the dog. And I just thought I’d shoot this through, because it reminded me of the conversation. Oh my goodness, I can tell you, you remember the name of my dog, and you’re sending this through? Oh my goodness. But it’s just a really beautiful way. And it’s not, I didn’t do it because I was expecting anything. It was just honestly, like I saw this thing and went, Oh, you know, we were talking about this thing. I’ll send it through, and it’s just such a beautiful way to create relationships with people that is so organic. And so, I’m going to say normal, that sometimes we forget just to do normal things.
Tish Times 28:32
Yeah, you know, and that’s the thing, when you’re saying this, I’m literally thinking it’s like when we’re always about ourselves, when we’re always thinking about, how can I get them to sign the, how can I get them to do this? I just learned that you have to check your heart at that point and kind of really examine, why am I in this in the first place? Because yes, we’re in sales. I teach sales. My company is a sales agency, so I’m all about closing sales. But at the end of the day, if that’s all that I care about, I have a heart issue, and I’ll never be able to really serve at a high level the people that really need me and that I mean, and I’ve been there, I’ve been at the place where I needed to close themselves to be able to pay my staff. I understand the need for us to be able to bring income into our bottom line, I totally get that. But the thing that I’ve learned over the, all of these years is that if I don’t really care about the people that I’m engaging, I have no business being in business. I have no business doing this. And so I would just encourage all of us, you know, as we’re kind of thinking through this, it’s like if I’m only doing it to get a reaction, if I’m only doing it to see if they’ll say yes, then I have a heart issue. At that point, I should be thinking about their dog because they mentioned that. I should be remembering that their kid just graduated from high school. Because I’m a person, I have a heart, right? That’s what makes all the difference between when we’re doing this, and that’s what causes people to say, Oh, my God, you remembered. You thought, you really thought about me because no one else is doing it, or very few people are doing that type of thing.
Samantha Riley 30:06
Totally. I’m going to flip it though. You’re, like you said, you’re in sales, and you probably see this too, people that go so into the heart space that they actually forget to go into the sale, right? Can you please speak to this? Because there are people that are so full of heart, that are so much in a servant’s heart, that they forget to serve themselves.
Tish Times 30:30
Yes, and serve the person, because I missed that opportunity, right? I’m doing them a disservice, if I have, you know, the answer, the solution to their problem. But I’m so concerned, and this is where it really comes down to it for me. I’m so concerned about the fact that I need you to accept me, I need you to love me, that I’m missing the opportunity to really give you the solution to the problem that you’ve already expressed to me that you have. Again, that again, it’s a heart problem. We might think it of as, oh, I just love and I want to be, you know, I want to be of service. No, no, that’s a selfish issue, because I am not really being of service if I have an obligation to solve a problem and I’m missing that opportunity, I’m not giving them what they really need. I’m sending them away with the open wound, when I have bandages, right? I have a first aid kit, but I’m more concerned about you liking me than I am about really helping you to solve this problem on a long term basis. So yes, I love that you flipped that because it’s easy for us to say, well, I don’t, you know, I didn’t ask for the sale because I don’t want to sound this, that, or the other. I don’t want to feel salesy. You know what? I’m, at that point, I’ve learned it’s about me, because I’m afraid of your rejection. I’m afraid that if you say no, then you’re not going to talk to me the way we’ve been buddies all this time. It’s really about me at that point, I can’t even put it off on them and say, Well, I didn’t want to, I don’t want to make this weird. No, it was about me not wanting to be rejected and never own that we’ll make the offers that we’re supposed to be making.
Samantha Riley 32:07
Yeah. So what tips do you have for people to transition into making that offer or having that conversation about, hey, I can actually help you. You know, is it okay if we have this conversation?
Tish Times 32:19
So, I mean, think about it this way. I’m going to look for this red dress, Samantha, because I have this event that I need to go to, and I’ve looked everywhere, and I cannot find this red dress. But if you’ve been to the mall, and you were just at this store, and you saw the perfect red dress, and you know me, you know my size, and you’re just like, would you sit there and go. I’m not going to tell her about that store I went to, because, you know, I hate for her to get that perfect right? You’re going to go. Girl, let me tell you about where you need to go. You need to go. It’s the same thing. It’s like I hear you talking. Oh, my God, I can help you with that. There’s no need for you to continue to deal with this. Can I explain to you how I can help you with it? If it makes sense for you, let’s do it. If it doesn’t, it’s no big deal. But let me at least share with you how I believe I can help you solve that problem, and you don’t even have to worry about that anymore. You can get the fix that you’re looking for. You know, we make it, again, we make it more about either ourselves or, you know, the fear of all the past experiences that we’ve had before that caused us to not make the offer. But the transition is as easy as me saying, I got what you need, and I always think about it that way. You know, I don’t, I don’t minimise the conversation, and I don’t want to make it less formal than it needs to be. But I’m like, I’m talking to my girlfriend, and my girlfriend needs something, and I got the answer. I’m going to give them what they need, and if they want it, just like it with the store, either they’re going to say, Yes, please. I’m going to that store right now, or they’re going to say, Ah, maybe I don’t need that dress after all. And that’s okay, you know. That’s okay too, but I’m at least going to make sure they know what’s possible.
Samantha Riley 34:01
Oh, my goodness, I love that so much. So right now, if there’s someone listening that is going, yep, this all makes sense, but I’m still so reluctant to get out there and meet people and to have these conversations, what can you, what message do you have for them?
Tish Times 34:25
I have a message. I don’t know if they’re going to love my message, and I know what I’ve had to do. The only way we get better at having these kind of conversations is to have these kind of conversations. And so what I, again, what I would do is I would literally fill up my calendar, you know, for a couple of weeks, and say, I’m going to go to five events in the next two weeks. Some of them, I’m not going to say a word, because I’m just, it’s just the action of me getting into that room right now. But by the time I’ve gone to two or three, I’m going to say, Okay, I’m not leaving until I make at least one deep conversation, and then I get up to the point where I say I’m not, not leaving until I get at least three conversations, you know, so you kind of, you may have to build yourself up to it. And I’m talking to that really shy, you know, more introverted, this is out of my depth. I don’t want to do this, but I know I have to have more conversations in order to grow my business, and this is one of the ways I can do it. I would say that you just have to get out there and get out of your comfort zone. Rock your shell. I’m never telling you to change who you are, right? People, take it out of your shell. I say, rock your shell. So do it on your own terms, which is why I say sometimes I would go to the event and I would just be in the corner, almost, because I just wasn’t comfortable talking to people, but I worked myself up to being able to have more of those conversations. And if you want to get better at having conversations, the only way you’re going to be able to do that is to have those conversations. So step by step, little by little, take a look at that freebie, and you’ll be able to find a couple of tips that will be, I think, very helpful for you. But you gotta start. You just, you have to start at some point.
Samantha Riley 36:04
Absolutely. Now you mentioned that freebie, The Networking Handbook. The link for that will be in the show notes below. Wherever you are listening to this podcast, definitely go on and grab a copy of The Networking Handbook, because it’s full of value, just like this whole episode has been, Tish, is there, if you wanted to leave people with one takeaway from this whole conversation, just even though you’ve dropped like so much value, what is that one thing you want to leave our listeners with?
Tish Times 36:36
I would say, you know, we alluded to it earlier is, number one, give yourself grace. If this has been a struggle for you, give yourself grace. And like I said, give yourself permission to get started on your own terms, and then figure out the types of places, whether it’s online, offline, whether it’s on social, however you’re networking, because there’s multiple different ways of doing it. Figure out the place where you feel like you thrive. If you are that person who’s like, I am much more comfortable on a keyboard and I don’t even want to go into these rooms. That’s okay. Then create an online community and interact that way, if that’s what makes you happiest, and can get you the types of results that you really want. But I just want you to give yourself grace and permission to do things, maybe that make you a little uncomfortable, but are still in your comfort zone enough to where you’re actually going to do them, and then rock the heck out of that shell. Make it work for you.
Samantha Riley 37:33
I love that. Rock the hell out of your shell. Tish Times, thanks so much for joining me today. It’s been an absolute pleasure chatting with you.
Tish Times 37:40
Thank you for having me.
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