We all have imposter syndrome at some point in our lives, it’s part of being human. In this episode, we’re going to talk about dealing with imposter syndrome with Mare Forfa.
Mare, also known as MJ, is a medium that helps clients understand the next step for them through connection with a higher power and reigniting what’s already inside them.
When we’re dealing with imposter syndrome, it’s easy to create stories that are not true and firmly believe them. We need to know where these thoughts are coming from and reprogram negative beliefs.
The important thing is to not let imposter syndrome take control of our lives and to know how to push through these destructive thoughts.
IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL DISCOVER:
- The value of acknowledging and accepting imposter syndrome (08:03)
- Utilising imposter syndrome to our advantage (09:29)
- Long-term and short-term solutions for imposter syndrome (12:27)
- Tapping into our resources to deal with fear and limiting beliefs (16:52)
- How to best cultivate our environment (21:22)
- What to do to get the results we want (28:40)
QUOTES:
- “When your internal leadership is on-point, your relationships are on-point and your business becomes easier.” -Mare Forfa
- “We have these bodies, let’s bloody use them.” -Mare Forfa
- “If you don’t know what you want, you can’t get there.” -Samantha Riley
- “When we’re in flow, it doesn’t mean that everything is going to be easy all the time.”-Samantha Riley
WHERE TO FIND MARE FORFA
- Website: https://www.mareforfa.com/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MareForfa/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mareforfa/
BOOK YOUR FREE BUSINESS ACCELERATOR CALL
If you’re an expert doing over $10k per month, and want to be known as the Unapologetic Leader in your industry, you may be just a few small tweaks away from doubling your income and visibility.
On this quick 15 minute call, we’ll:
- Conduct a quick audit of your marketing to see what is and isn’t working.
- Review your niche, positioning and pricing of your current offers.
- Uncover the top 3 bottlenecks from holding you and your business back from scaling
- Develop a 3-step implementation plan to get the growth results you are looking for.
SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW THE INFLUENCE BY DESIGN PODCAST
Thanks for tuning in to this episode of the Influence By Design podcast. If the information in any of our conversations and interviews has helped you in your business journey, please head over to Apple Podcasts, click the 3 dots in the top right corner of your smartphone screen, follow the show, and leave us an honest review. Your reviews and feedback will not only help us continue to deliver valuable content but will also help us reach even more amazing entrepreneurs just like you!
ABOUT MARE FORFA
Imagine your coach was a Medium, and knew things no-one else did? Helping you make decisions, boost performance, and connect with your soul’s voice. With 15 years business-building experience, plus 7 years in corporate-HR, and a natural ability to read energy, MJ works with business-women to master their Inner Leadership.
TRANSCRIPTION
Mare Forfa Snippet (00:00):
Thoughts create feelings, feelings, create actions, actions create results, we need to go all the way back to the thoughts and see where that originating thought is coming from, and really reprogram. That’s gonna say reprogram that thought that’s really a belief.
Samantha Riley Intro (00:17):
My name is Samantha Riley, and this is the podcast for experts who want to be the unapologetic leader in their industry. We’re going to share the latest business growth, marketing, and leadership strategies, as well as discussing how you can use your human design to create success in business and life. Inside and out. It’s time to take your influence, income, and impact to the level you know you’re capable of. Are you ready to make a bigger difference and scale up? This is the Influence By Design podcast.
Welcome to today’s episode of Influence By Design, I’m your host, Samantha Riley and super looking forward to today’s conversation, continuing with our 30 in 30 theme, which is stepping into your power, becoming the unapologetic leader in your industry, and building your elegant empire. And today we’re speaking with MJ about really impostor syndrome, negative self-talk, and all of the things that, you know, it’s like the little chip on our shoulder that speaks to us negatively, and it holds us back from all sorts of things. So welcome to the show. MJ,
Mare (01:25):
Thank you so much for having me. I’m so excited. I just, you know, when you’re just excited to just dive straight in. That’s how I’m feeling.
Samantha (01:33):
I know, we were having a chat before we started recording. And I was just like, oh, this is going to be good. Yeah, I feel like I should have recorded our pre-talk, it was so good. So I know that this is going to be amazing.
Before we start, I’d love you to tell our listeners exactly, or a little bit of how you got to where you are and what you do now.
Mare (01:55):
I really coach people or coach women specifically on the intersection between their mindset, their emotions, and their energy, so their spirit, and I call that inner leadership. So what I found over the last 15 years of working with people is that so much external shit gets layered on us. And I really should have asked, am I allowed to swear on here?
Samantha (02:22):
Well, it is shit, right, and is layered on us. So let’s just stick with that. What it is, yeah, blade upon us.
Mare (02:25):
And particularly women and successful women within business, we really have so many external societal expectations that are really put onto us, things that get landed on when we become business owners.
And when all of this life happens. And really what I help women get back to is their core, and leading from within instead of leading from outside, from the external sources. And so that really does mean understanding how your mindset works, how your emotions work, and how you spirit was to elevate all of that.
Now, the awesome thing is, is when your internal leadership is like on point, your relationships are on point, your business becomes easier. Even the staff you’re attracting, you know, become better, everything becomes a little bit more effortless, effort, none.
But a little bit more in flow. And I think most people are familiar with that flow. So that’s the way that a coach, but it comes from 15 years of building businesses from seven years of working in corporate HR.
So I’m not just talking about fluffiness. And you know, nice, esoteric concepts. And it’s really about the practicalities of how you implement into leadership in your life.
Now, just a little bit extra here, I am a medium. So my superpower is really reading people’s energy and to allow that coaching to come specifically to them. So I have heaps of fun. And that’s what got me to exactly where I am now, the reading of energy, but the implementation, that’s how I’ve created business after business. That’s how I keep on doing what I do.
Samantha (04:12):
Do you know what I love about business now in this time is that I think that the world is finally ready to understand that business and some of these spiritual practices can come together. And in actual fact, when they do come together, that we can build something stronger.
I’ve been in business 30 years. And you know, in the early days, I used a lot of the spiritual practices, but I never told anyone even as early back as 2010 When I started my coaching business, I never told anyone this stuff that I had behind the scenes because I was afraid that people would think I was fluffy, and that I really didn’t know what I was talking about.
And I think that we’ve got to a point now where not only can we talk about this, but it’s time to talk about it and understand that it’s all part of the package because as you said businesses
In one little tiny part of our life, I said that completely wrong. Business isn’t a singular part of our life. It is just a tiny part of our life. And it’s all holistic in the way that it all comes together.
Mare (05:12):
I can tell you, Sam, honestly, I was in this room. And to be honest, I don’t even know why I was invited. It was at a Virgin Unite event, which is Richard Branson’s charity.
And it was the team event, which was all these massive, like, you know, one of the heads of Woolworths and one of the heads of aliens and not as an a&p insurance and just like all these massive businesses, and I do not run a Woolworths business, I tell you that you’re better Willie’s Robbins is a DBT.
And I was in the room and I was like, feeling a little bit off. And they gave a little you know, they did breakouts, and you get into like little groups, and they said, Okay, we’re going to talk about vulnerability. And I’m going to put you in a group of three people. And you guys are going to each share with each other what you’re vulnerable about, and I thought, oh my god, this is big head honchos here. I totally don’t fit in whatsoever.
And I would never, ever, in those circumstances ever share that I’m an ATM. Because I don’t want to get laughed at by the suits, right. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, this guy’s serious. These suits are just like, you know, that corporate kind of style that I’m talking about. So I thought, you know, what, I’m actually gonna share, I’m gonna share and I said to these two guys, I was like,
okay, the thing I’m going to be vulnerable about it I don’t usually share in this environment is that
I’m a medium, I can read energy.
And literally, the two of them scoffed. They’re like, Oh, yeah. Did they really, and you know what happened? One of them goes, Okay, well read my energy then. And I looked at him, I went, but but but this is where the problem is, I continue doing this and this in your personal life, here is an issue and I will do the next one. And I read it and they were whacked.
Samantha (07:00):
Oh, yeah, they would have been so Oh, my goodness, you would have completely taken the mask away.
Mare (07:05):
100 was it to the point that after that session happened, and one of these people were actually they were on the stage at the event? So they were seen as even as an authority in this kind of event space? He did not let me leave the room. And he tried to go for an hour and a half.
He talked about year off about how the fuck you doing that? Like? Yeah, yeah. And so yeah, when you realize that everything is energy, then you can start to actually like, implement some really cool things and get invited to cool places and do cool things and, and live a life where we’re not all putting on our suit and putting on our mask.
And yeah, we’re just going to turn up and, you know, conform to what everyone else thinks is right. So I agree with you, even in that environment, which is, you know, it was a bit ballsy. Let’s face it to be that vulnerable. You can really get some positivity when people start to open their mind.
Samantha (08:02):
Yeah, totally. Let’s talk impostor syndrome. Because it’s interesting that you were just sharing that story then. And I’ll bet that those masks were up a lot. And nice and tightly. Because there was a little bit of impostor syndrome there.
Mare (08:17):
ABS of Frida lately for me, oh, my God. And look, I also think that everybody at some stage of their life has impostor syndrome. So if any of our listeners here are thinking, Oh, my God, this is just me and I don’t deserve to be here. And here’s the big one that you know, when it’s imposter syndrome, it’s like, I’m gonna get found out.
Like, I began to realize that whatever the thing is, so for me in that instance, is find out just a little itty bitty baby business compared to everyone else. Here, and the reality is, that’s all just a story. We’re saying I had 100% 100% all a story.
And if we really peel back the layers, and understand from like, a cognitive perspective, or even from a mindset perspective, that thoughts create feelings, feelings, create actions, actions, create results, we need to go all the way back to the thoughts and see where that originating thought is coming from.
And really reprogram I was gonna say reprogram that thought that’s really a belief, reprogram that belief. I don’t deserve. I’m not enough. I can’t be here, they’re gonna find me out. And really that originally, or that originating belief is I am not enough.
Samantha (09:30):
Before we delve into that and start there. I really would love to know your take on this. Do you feel like and this might sound a little bit odd, but play with me? Do you feel like impostor syndrome is a positive thing or a negative thing?
Mare (09:43):
I don’t know if I believe either. I think what a journalist does like one of us. Yep. And I think that it depends on how you use the energy. And this comes from any mindset work to be honest. If it is some Anything that is motivating you and getting you towards your goal, and you are seeing positive results and you’re happy with it, then there ‘s’s nothing wrong with it. I’ll give you an example.
One of the businesses I own, helps pre-med students become doctors. And I was on the phone with one of my students. And she said I have to get in this year. And I was like, Yeah, tell me why. Why do you have to get it and she goes, because I’m a nurse? And I want to prove to those other doctors that I can do it because I don’t want to take that crap anymore.
I need to like, I need to shove it in their face that I can do it. And I went, That’s great. That’s really good motivation for now. Don’t get rid of that. But also acknowledge that that is not going to be fulfilling when you get to that goal. If that’s the sole reason you’re doing it, so it can be both.
Same thing with imposter syndrome. If that gets you learning more, doing more helping more people get your voice out there, then let’s harness that. But also realize that there are effects that may not be positive that come with that, too. Yeah, yeah.
Samantha (11:09):
And I guess that’s why I asked the question because I really wanted people to open their mind up to some different ideas, because I think that it’s really easy to get caught. I’ve got impostor syndrome, let’s go on this downward spiral of I’m not good enough.
Instead of I’ve got impostor syndrome. Okay, what’s the story that I’m telling myself? And how do I get myself out of it? So I really wanted to sort of get people to open up and go, Okay, I feel this, let’s do something about it.
Because this conversation is not about wallowing in a feeling because that’s not positive. And it’s not actually a better word. It’s not productive.
Mare (11:50):
Yes. And I always think, you know, what’s your bounce back, right? Because we all get there. Like, I’m not immune to this, everybody feels these feelings. But it’s like, are we spending one minute, one hour, one day, one month, one, you there. And if you’re spending a minute or an hour, even a day, like, great, feel it, but let’s measure that bounce back, great to get back on track.
Because when you start to feel that way for a month, or six months or a year, that starts to be ingrained in your personality, totally. And that becomes who you are. Yeah, and that is not a positive thing. You don’t want imposter syndrome to be or lack of confidence to really be your life, like a fun.
Samantha (12:27):
Alright, so let’s go back to what you said, it all starts with the thoughts. Can you tell us about you know, once we discover what this thought is, what do we then do with it?
Mare (12:39):
That’s a good question. What do we want to do? It’s all a choice. And I say that really specifically. Because if you feel as though you have imposter syndrome, the first and most important thing you need to do is decide if you want to keep it or not.
And this becomes like a fulfilling prophecy in terms of when you’re in a resourceful state, and you’re like, cool, I want to make a change, then you find a way to make a change. If you’re like, I want to wallow in this, and I want to feel this, then you’re never going to do anything to me. With imposter syndrome, there are things that you can do long term, and there’s things you can do short term.
So if I look short term, just to get the quick fix, you know, if you’re in that moment, if you any walking into that meeting, or whatever, the easiest thing that I have found, is just writing down a list of shit that you’ve done really well, and reminding ourselves of it.
Like, I once had a coach that told me, okay, from the age of 10, onwards, write every single achievement you’ve ever had. Wow, just like
Samantha (13:52):
when you actually say like that, because, you know, you can get caught thinking, oh, you know, it’s not that much. But when the first thought that I had was one that’s a lot, which is not normally the same thought that I have, right?
Mare (14:05):
Absolutely. And so what we want to do is, in that moment, this is a quick win, right? This isn’t gonna last long term. It’s like, we’re just gonna rip the band-aid, get it over and done with do the meeting, and get into the meeting and resourceful state.
Like, let’s start to list it all out. And then just remind yourself, you could even you don’t need to do it from the age of 10. But you can even go okay, in the last week, what some cool shit that I’ve done.
And remind yourself because we forget, we really do, what do they say the stats are? It’s like you need 10 positive things to counteract the one negative thing. Wow. So that’s particularly right. We’d like feedback online, for example. So you could have like, 10 people going, Oh, my God, this is the most amazing post you’ve ever done. And then one person goes, well, I don’t agree. And that’s all you think.
Samantha (14:50):
Yeah, that hits hard. That’s what you remember.
Mare (14:53):
Absolutely. So that’s like a short term. Okay. Let’s just remind ourselves in terms of the long term, I think there is a mindset shift around growth and fixed mindsets. So a fixed mindset is when things are black and white, and you either have it or you don’t have it, or you’re good, or you’re bad, and there’s no in between.
And I actually see this a lot with kind of my 20-ish-year-old clients, where they’re like, I’m smart enough, or I’m not smart enough, I’m good at business are not good at business. And that fixed mindset is not a resourceful state, for that fixed mindset really unresolvable.
Because there’s nothing you can do to change. When we cultivate a growth mindset around, okay, it doesn’t matter what I’m going to find a solution. And I can and you have these beliefs around, I can always grow to get better, and I can always grow and find my way out, then that’s a super resourceful state. But moving from here to here, like that’s all it is, is a decision.
And it comes back to do you want to change the imposter syndrome or not. And catching yourself when you’re in that fixed state labelling it and going right now I see myself as a having a fixed mindset, I need to move across to a more resourceful growth mindset state of mind.
Samantha (16:18):
Making that decision to go yep, okay, I’m going across that I’m going to draw a line in the sand and going across over, I want to make that change. I’d love you to talk about the fear to be able to do that. Because it’s fine to say, Yeah, I’m gonna do it.
But we’re actually humans having a human experience and all these emotions come up. And some people will say it is as simple as just making that step. But depending on what our triggers are, and what position like what’s happening around us, that can be easier or harder at any given time. What are some of the resourceful ways that we can tap into what we have within us to be able to make that step across the threshold?
Mare (17:00):
I think the first step is really just understanding what the theory is. And often it’s just labelling the fear and seeing where it leaves within our body. Because, like, we have these bodies, let’s bloody use them. I’m so stuck in our head. Yeah.
Samantha (17:17):
Or like that. That’s a quotable, that one right there. I love it.
Mare (17:20):
Like, we sort of stuck in our head, and we’re thinking all the time, and we’re going off on a little tangent, and I’m like, oh, yeah, that’s right. I have to hear the debate. And you know, I’m gonna be fine.
Sorry, if we can acknowledge, okay, what is the fear? Let’s put a label on it, and then be able to go, Okay, where is it living within my body? Now I work with the chakra system. And so often, energy centers or colors give us an insight, it’s just a way of kind of understanding what energy lives within us, helps us to understand what is the core underlying belief system or energy that someone’s holding.
And once we understand what that is, we didn’t even need to know where it came from, who cares where it came from, we can start to deal with the beliefs that have gotten us into that fearful state. So I would say, you know, there’s so many things like comparison, as an example, that trigger the fearful state, or things like our cultural expectations, that trigger kind of the unresolvable state or stereotypes that we’ve put on ourselves or on others. So if I can give you an example, for like, so long, I’ve always wanted to be a speaker. And I’ve spoken on so many different stages.
But for so long, I did not allow myself to dream or to really like hone in on that skill. Because the limiting belief in my head was that no one wants to listen to me because of my accent. Wow, no one you like, I’d like one accent, right?
Like, the fee was, so I don’t come from, you know, really rich parents, or from the nicest part of town come from South East Sydney, or South Western Sydney, I should say. And you know, it was a little bit of ghetto sometimes.
And so I have developed this accent which you know, if you’re a Sydney sider you like oh, yeah, she does sound like she comes from, you know, Southwest Sydney.
I had put this fear that I was gonna get judged around what my accent was. That was my fear and my limiting belief. There was one thing that shattered it. And it was gaining evidence that my accent does not hold anyone me or anyone else back from delivering impactful, motivating, engaging, inspiring talks. I was at an event and this like, beautiful girl with a hijab came on and
And she grew up in the same area that I did. And she came on and she had the biggest accent, like, God bless her because she was my greatest teacher in terms of speaking. After all, she came and she was like, how are you guys going?
Like, super, like Polish corporate event. And I was like, if she can do it, I can do it totally. It’s amazing. And it was shattered. So really, the environment sometimes helps us to either shatter those ceilings or those fears, or those limiting beliefs, or the opposite. It confirms it for us, huh. So cultivating an environment that enables you to move into the direction of whatever your goal is, it’s super important.
I say this on social media, with your friends, your family, your cultural expectations, you know, I grew up where, you know, when I went to university, one of the boys said to me, where are you going to university? You’re just gonna get married and have babies anyway? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no expectations. That’s where I grew up. Yeah. And so I need to remove myself from that and engage in an area where I’m like, I have a brain, I have a voice, I want to make a difference. And so I had, there was no way that I would grow in that environment.
Samantha (21:22):
Let’s talk about that environment a little bit more, because I think that this, it’s my belief that this is one of the most, this is like, almost like the top of the food chain, that we need to be the right environment to do.
We, you know, we’re talking about lots of techniques, and lots of, you know, tactics and different things. But if you’re not in the right environment, it’s, it is so hard and almost impossible to be able to get yourself out of these things. Now, the people that are listening to this podcast, are very aware of that they’ve already put themselves in good environment, they understand the importance of an inner circle, then understand all the importance of this.
However, what are some of the other pieces of this environment that they may not even be aware of? And the second part of this is, how can they then cultivate that Bank of evidence because I think it’s really easy to be making changes and not notice that the changes are being made.
Mare (22:21):
You know, I kind of just indoctrinate myself and I call it indoctrination because it’s like, basically, I put propaganda in. So that’s all the things that actually I cultivate the environment by choosing what podcasts I listen to what rules I put around my business.
So for example, I moved from Sydney to the Sunshine Coast best change I could have made pre COVID Actually, I think we must have got some vibes that sounds don’t have go down in Sydney You’re so beautiful sunshine coast where they will lock downs but I’m definitely wasn’t the same as you know, Sydney and Melbourne.
And I like made the rule I was like health before. 10 wealth after 10 Oh, like that. So my health before 10 I’m going in, I’m exercising every day. I am listening to motivating, inspiring podcasts, not just the next podcast that comes up but ones that I specifically choose at that time to help indoctrinate myself in what I know.
I need to believe but I’m not quite there yet. And so I surround myself I feel like I have the best mentors, but some of them haven’t even met yet. But some of them are dead Wayne Dyer, best mentor ever. Oh my goodness. I’ve never met him. I’m going to Yeah, I love Wayne Dyer. Love him saying we Louise Hay like huge mega fan here. But just because they’re not here doesn’t mean that I can’t indoctrinate myself with that message. But what people don’t realize, I think the step before creating the environment is knowing what you want specifically.
Because I knew what I needed was to get out of the chatter of Sydney, the busyness of Sydney, the energy of Sydney, so that I could actually look within and have the time to stop and assess what do I actually fucking launch.
Because I had this from my mom, I had this one mother that I had this for my you know, people in my business, I had this from, you know, other just like all these different things. And until you truly stop and look at the end and this is why I call it inner leadership. You can’t really create that environment because you don’t know where you’re going
Samantha (24:41):
100% and snap on the moving from Sydney to Sunshine Coast. But you’re a little smarter than us because I waited till after all the lockdowns to do it. So I went through all the lockdowns in Sydney, and then moved to the Sunshine Coast. But we moved here for exactly the same reason. There was just so much and everyone knows what we’re talking about. There was just so much noise, because everyone’s going, Why did you move because I really do love Sydney.
And we were in a beautiful place. We’re right on the beach. Like it was a whole lifelong goal that I got and just went, I can’t believe we’re here. But I just needed the space to think, yeah, to let everything go. So that, you know, we could bring the new in.
Yeah, I guess. And that’s what we’re talking about with the bank of evidence, it’s like you need to be able to allow the new in.
Mare (25:30):
Well, there’s something called the RAS, which is the reticular activating system. It’s a network of neurons that sit at the back of the brain. And there’s four things that trigger the RAS. And I’m telling you this, because one of the four things is important, it will allow you to find evidence better. The first thing that the RAS does is it kind of allows the information, all the data points that are coming to us throughout you know, sight, sound, touch or taste and whatever the awesome last month this five senses
So it kind of deciphers what’s important and what to bring to the conscious brain. So there’s four things that it looks for, firstly, your name. So if someone says your name at a festival, or in a big business conference, your ears pricked up and you’re like,
Oh, someone just said, Sam, someone looking for me. The next thing that it does is it’s danger. you or someone else is in danger, it automatically like heightened sense of awareness. The next one is and I’m sure everybody’s heard this before, when someone you’re interested in is also interested in sex, you’re like, Yeah, hello. Yeah, right now.
And the last thing that the RAS kind of puts our conscious awareness to, is what we deem is important to us. And so if you don’t know what’s important, and if you don’t train your RAS to look for things that are important, then you won’t find it.
You know, like when you go to buy a car, and it’s like, I want a white Volkswagen, and then all of a sudden white Volkswagens are everywhere. It’s not that they’ve just occurred, it’s that you’ve trained your brain to start to look for them. And so the questions that we ask ourselves regularly, are what trains our areas because it doesn’t work in like, words and sight, it works in feelings.
And so when we bring up a feeling when we ask a better question, it brings up a better feeling and allows us to notice the results that have always been there. And that’s how we start to look for better evidence.
So instead of saying, I can’t afford to buy a house right now, the house prices are way too expensive. You want to start saying how can I find a way to buy a house in this market? How can I and you start to have evidence coming towards you that oh, these creative ideas? I never thought about doing that? Oh, you can do vendor financing? You do this? You do that? Oh, look at that.
It’s all starting to come together. It might not be on day one. Yeah, of course. So finding that evidence through training the RAS about what’s important means knowing inside, not what’s important to everyone else, then deal with that. That’s their own problem.
But understanding being still enough to know what you want. And then being diligent enough to pick up when your RAS has gone off and on stuff that you no longer deem important and training it.
Samantha (28:36):
This is the number one theme that’s coming up from every interview in this series that we’re doing this month, you have to know what you want. It is the number one thing that has come up from every single person I’ve spoken to.
And it’s something I’ve always known, but it’s very, like, let’s pay attention to that if you don’t know what you won’t, you can’t get there.
Mare (28:57):
And I think you know, we live in this society where everybody talks about follow your passion, follow your bliss, all that kind of stuff, but not everybody knows what that is. So I actually just encourage people to cultivate curiosity.
Like instead of saying, I have to know everything now, which particularly if you’ve lived in this environment, where we’re comparing ourselves to Kim Kardashian on social media and Goldie’s cultural expectations of what a wife and a mother and a daughter looks like and all the stuff that we have going on.
You might not know and that’s okay. Instead of braiding. It’s about and going. I don’t know what my passion is. I don’t regard we’ve got to start to say okay, instead of going for my passion and knowing exactly what I want because identified I don’t know what I want. How about I just get curious and try some shit.
Know what I did the funniest thing I don’t know if he’s a bit controversial, but I was like, I don’t follow my own curiosity. And I’ve never been a super religious person but being a medium I’m very spiritual.
I know that is our highest thought and so I’m very happy to talk to anybody who wants to talk about it. And I thought you know what, I’m gonna go to a spiritualist church. Like they call basically like, the medium me all the readings. This sounds like right up my alley. So I go to this local spiritualist church I hated it was like the worst thing I ever got there and I’m like, oh my god, it’s like a bunch of wounds talking about, and I believe it but my jam Yeah, oh my God we’re gonna sing songs together and I’m out not. And then like are we gonna see you again next week and I was like cool. We’ll see, hopefully nothing wrong with the spiritualist church that’s their flavor. But I had to try what I needed to. And when you’re curious, you don’t like everything that’s okay, I’m just doing code bag.
Samantha (31:00):
Totally. And I wanted to add something about you mentioned your bliss in your flow, because this is talked about by a lot of people, especially in the spiritual world. And I’m going to have a little ranty rant here, because I think this has been taken really out of context. When we’re in flow.
It doesn’t mean that everything is going to be easy all of the time. Oh, Courage sister. Yes. Oh, my, this is something that I’m so passionate about. Because you know, people like, oh, this doesn’t feel you know, it doesn’t feel like it’s easy. I don’t think this is for me. No, if you’re here to live your purpose, you have to push through some boundaries, there are going to be times where you really don’t feel comfortable.
That doesn’t mean you’re not in flow. It just means you’re not comfortable. And it is two very, very different things. So I’m glad that you picked up you know, following your bliss, because to be living our purpose, and to follow our bliss doesn’t mean it’s going to feel blissful all the time doesn’t mean it’s going to feel easy all the time. And in actual fact, when you’re really living your purpose, like really, really living your purpose, you are going to have to crack through the most amazing amount of boundaries to get to the level that you want to in this lifetime ranch over a read.
Mare (32:15):
I am there with you, girl. I feel it. Yes. Yeah, yeah.
Samantha (32:20):
So MJ for people that have loved this conversation and want to be immersed in your world even more, where can they go to find you and to connect with you?
Mare (32:32):
I would love for people to join me over in Facebook. My handle is metaphor for m a r e, f o r f k, that’s my traditional Macedonian name, just the environment it no one imprint is it right? So MJ is good as well.
Please go for MJ love it. And you know what, for your listeners, I would just love a little private DM, if you can message me and say, Hey, I heard you on Sam Riley’s podcast, had a really good time. I just love to hear the feedback. But also, I’ve got so many like delightful treats. I have like a very quick cheat sheet on how to know if it’s your fear speaking or your intuition speaking.
So for those that DM me, or pm me on Facebook, I’m very happy to shoot across a little cheat sheet on is it your fear? Or is it your intuition speaking so you can actually make better decisions in your life.
Samantha (33:25):
And I think this is an amazing topic I was nerding out before we started recording because fear and intuition like that is just I don’t know, we might even have to get you back to talk about that because that is just a massive topic all on its own love.
MJ I have loved today’s conversation. For everyone that’s listening. What is that one golden nugget that you want to leave people with so that they walk away from listening to this episode and just know that they have to do the next right thing.
Mare (33:55):
Be the next right thing is acknowledging that your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings, create your actions and your actions create your results. So instead of trying to just change the results, we will actually go back to the thought process the originating thought or belief or belief isn’t really good word. A belief is just a thought you’ve thought over and over again until you think it’s true. So really go into that originating thought and belief. And if you want to change your results, you change your belief you’ll have a different life.
Samantha (34:23):
Love it. Love it. Love it. Thank you so much for joining me today. It’s been a pleasure speaking with you.
Mare (34:29):
Thank you.
Samantha Outro (34:30):
Thanks for joining me for this episode of the Influence By Design podcast. If you want more head over to influencebydesignpodcast.com for the show notes and links to today’s gifts and sponsors. And if you’re looking to connect with other experts who are growing and scaling their business to join us in the coaches, thought leaders, and changemakers community on Facebook, the links are waiting for you over at influencebydesignpodcast.com
Leave a Reply